Don’t give up the ease of laid out lesson plans which a boxed homeschool curriculum provides because you have active boys. Here are four ways that a boxed curriculum turns out to be a very boy-friendly option.
1. Hands-On Activities
There is no one size fits all solution for boys. However, one thing most young boys have in common is the need to wiggle. Because a boxed curriculum eased my teacher prep time, I had leisure to look plan and add activities for wiggly learners.
For example, when reading Where the Wild Things Are, I made paper bag puppets with three of my sons.The puppets brought the story to life and helped my boys remember the plot.
The instructions for a scheduled reading worksheet was to write in the words with the long /e/ sound. Knowing my boys’ aversion to writing, I had them write the words on balloons instead of filling out the worksheet. That one little twist made the activity more fun fo them. We blew up the balloons and the boys spent the rest of the afternoon batting them about while memorizing words with the long /e/ sound.
2. Masculine Writing Topics
When teaching my boys writing, it took more teacher effort to unleash their writing creativity. Video games, sports, technology and plain old silly things are not topics that always fall into the realm of what most teachers feel are writing-worthy.
I could easily substitute a boy-friendly writing topic and still teach the different writing genres presented in the lesson plan each day.
3. A Dose of Competition
Grammar is not only about rules but about listening and using good speech every day. Knowing that my boxed curriculum had well laid out, sequential lesson plans, I could focus on creating engaging activities for my boys.
Instead of studying grammar on their own, the most effective tool was to do grammar together and orally. For my older boys, who are close in age, we made learning grammar a game. Following the teacher’s manual, I explained to the boys what they were learning for the day. As they repeated back to me what they learned, they scored points. At the end of the week, I let them dip into a treasure chest I kept full of surprises from the dollar store.
Taking boys’ natural desire for healthy competition made learning come alive.
If it looked like the competition was moving from helpful to harmful, I would change the game to a simple hide and seek indoor game. I would write words or grammar rules on index cards and hide them around the house. Each of my boys, including my younger son had an equal chance to find the cards. Boys are all about racing with each other, and this method worked too.
I never felt that I wasted the worksheets because I could use them later for a quick review or used half of them to reinforce what they were learning.
The peace of mind that I was covering grammar well was more important to me than a few pages that my boys didn’t do.
4. Independent Learning for High School
When my boys were young was not the only time I used stress-reducing boxed curriculum. My husband fell very ill one year, and I could not sit down with my high school son to plan his next year. By that time, my son liked predictable schedules and thrived on routine.
Pulling out the boxed curriculum, my teen could follow the clear cut guidelines to know what was expected of him each day as I spent time in the ICU with my husband.
Knowing what my high school son had to do each day and that he was progressing to graduation lightened my load at a time when I was stretched thin. More importantly, my son graduated with excellent grades and a love of learning was stimulated and not stifled by a boxed curriculum.
Besides providing a framework to follow, there is no shortage of lesson plans and review to choose from when using a boxed curriculum. Individualize boxed curriculum to fit all the pent-up energy you deal with day to day by using one of these four ways and free up your time to build a strong mom-son bond. To me, that is worth anything!
About the Author
Tina Robertson celebrated the graduation of Mr. Senior in 2013 and Mr. Awesome in 2015. Because of her love for new homeschoolers, she mentors moms through her unique program called New Bee Homeschoolers. She loves all homeschoolers, though, as she shares her free 7 Step Curriculum Planner, unit studies, lapbooks and homeschooling how tos. She can’t sing, dance, or craft, but she counts organizing as a hobby. She is still in the homeschool trenches blogging at Tina’s Dynamic Homeschool Plus.
There are no tags on any of my child’s clothes. When she needs new clothes, we spend hours in dressing rooms trying to find ones that are comfortable. Deeply intuitive, in need of quiet downtime, challenged by change, a perfectionist, she is not alone. There are, in fact, two people in my family of four who fall into the 20% of the population known for being highly sensitive.
Elain Aron, Ph.D. is the author of The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them. She herself was often misunderstood and even shamed for being too sensitive.Elain writes, “… it is primarily parenting that decides whether the expression of sensitivity will be an advantage or a source of anxiety.” Because a highly sensitive person (HSP) brain works differently, they need understanding and support. Homeschooling can offer a highly sensitive child the environment they need to thrive.
Below, you’ll find ways to help your child embrace the gift of sensitivity.
There is Nothing Wrong With Your Child
While a child who is highly sensitive may respond differently to situations and stimuli than their siblings or peers, they should be assured their responses are not wrong. They are born with a nervous system that is highly aware. Highly Sensitive Children (HSC) are also often intuitive, creative, empathetic, and reflective. They tend to be conscientious, in tune with their senses, and have a rich inner life. Loud noises, smells, textures, tastes, or change can be a true challenge for your HSC child. Therefore, it is important to give assurance that it’s okay to be who they are.
Setting Matters
Maybe sitting at the kitchen table with talkative siblings or loud co-op classes aren’t a great fit for your HSC and hinder their learning more than they help them. They may need time in a quiet room, or to be able to listen to music or audiobooks while they work on math. Skipping loud activities or ones that require uncomfortable clothing is okay and sometimes necessary.
My child loves her biweekly wilderness class but struggles to wear the layers necessary to participate in winter. Going there in the winter is painful for her. We’ve realized until she’s able to handle snowsuits and being bundled, it’s best to sit out that season. We find other ways for her to experience nature. And we make sure on the warmer winter days, she gets plenty of time outside.
Support Their Efforts
It’s hard to want to do things that feel uncomfortable, but sometimes a highly sensitive child wants to push themselves through their discomfort. When my HSC tries to push past what is uncomfortable, I’ve found it is important she’s in control. My role is to remind her she can do hard things. And I strive to be supportive when she needs a break or to try again another time.
I recently watched her determination pay off. Every year we attend a mother-daughter camp with a huge rock wall. She is very much challenged by the feeling of the harness. The first year, she quietly cried the entire time it was on. Determined to climb, wearing the harness was a major accomplishment. The second year, she spent a good thirty minutes adjusting the harness before she was ready to climb. This year, she put it on, looked at me with her this is so uncomfortable face and headed for the wall. While it’s hard to watch my child struggle when she chooses to do so, it’s important I give her the time and space she needs.
Allow Time
Sometimes we are late to classes, and getting out the door takes a lot of time. We’ve discovered a few helpful tricks to make this easier:
make sure her comfy clothes are clean
give a lot of transition time
keep her bag packed with all the things she might need
Sometimes, she just needs a few extra minutes. The alternative to giving her this time is not attending classes or rushing her, which leads to tears and fighting. While we have gone in both directions, extra time is always the better option. When it’s hard to be patient, I try to remind myself she is not defiant or lazy. She would much rather jump in the car and be comfortable.
Offer Alternatives
While it can be hard and even frustrating to figure out an HSC’s needs and triggers, it’s important they have what they need to feel comfortable. My best advice is to take them with you when you buy clothes, school supplies, and food. Let them touch, smell, and pick out things that appeal to their senses.
Take note of what your child loves to touch and taste. Are they someone who craves things that are soft or rough? Foods that are hard like ice or mushy like applesauce? Do they need clothes that are tight or don’t have seams? Offer options and then let your child decide.
Again, it’s worth the time it takes to figure out the best pencils, pants, and foods that help an HSC feel their best. And it’s okay if the things they like or need are different from the rest of the family.
Communicate with Friends and Family
The research on Highly Sensitive People is not new. Unfortunately, neither is the tendency to label HSP as too sensitive. Friends and family might need help learning about what it means to be highly sensitive, and they might need gentle reminders. A well-intentioned family member who sees your child in a struggle can make the situation worse by raising their voice or telling them to get over it. Belittling a child’s need only creates shame and more struggle.
Communicate with friends and family, so that they know how to help when your child is having a hard time. Talking with them can also help them understand why certain gifts and activities need to be avoided. My family knows not to give my child clothes. They also know we don’t go to loud restaurants with multiple televisions blaring.
Identify Needs
Regardless of our child’s needs, we can help them to understand who they are and what they need.
They need to learn to identify their triggers and to recognize the things they enjoy and need. Help your child tap into their senses. Maybe you can play games where they touch a variety of textures or get out the spices and let them find their favorite smells. Help them collect the stuffed animals, blankets, music, and toys that bring them the most comfort. Create a special corner in their room for some of the things they love. Then, they know they can head there when they need a break.
My daughter has a basket of things she loves and sometimes needs. When she’s feeling overwhelmed, she can take it outside or to a quiet space in our home. She also knows that having a journal and pencil nearby is always helpful and has placed one in pretty much every room, car, and space she might be.
Help Your Child Advocate for Themselves
Once your child knows what they need, it’s vital we help them find their words so they can speak for themselves. People are going to ask why they always wear sweatpants or are having a hard time. They don’t need to feel embarrassed or to have a parent jump in and explain what is going on. Instead, we can empower our children by letting them know there is no shame in the truth.
I’ve heard my daughter tell both adults and children why she needs what she needs. Not only does advocating for herself help her embrace who she is, it helps her create deeper connections with the people in her life. They are given a chance to accept her for who she is.
When my daughter was four, we were talking about how she needs extra time. I’ll never forget her looking at me and saying, “I’m worth the extra time it takes, Mom.” She is, and so is every child and adult who needs extra time, certain clothes, foods, and settings.
Success is Attainable
Homeschooling a high sensitive child takes time and patience, just like homeschooling every child does. But it’s important we take the necessary steps to know what our HSC needs, help them know what they need, and make sure their home and learning environment supports them. Supporting our HSC does not mean they are never triggered or are always comfortable. It means we help them know they can do hard things, let them be who they are, and give them plenty of opportunities to find success.
About the Author
Kelly left teaching middle and high school English to homeschool her children and reclaim how she and her family spent their time. Followers of interest-led learning, her family’s days rarely look the same, but they tend to include a lot of books, art supplies, and time outside.
Kelly facilitates local writing circles for women and children and blogs about nurturing the love of learning on her blog, Curiosity Encouraged. She loves to journal, read memoirs, hike, and travel. She seeks quiet mornings and good coffee daily.
Do you remember what it was like when your sweet little babies began to utter their first sounds? Did you run to get a textbook so you could teach them how to speak? Of course not! You certainly didn’t freak out thinking there was no way you would be able to teach them how to talk.
Instead you began to say simple words to them like mama and dada. And each time they attempted to make the same sound, you excitedly cheered them on.
But for some reason, the thought of teaching language arts seems to strike fear into the hearts of many homeschool parents. There’s no need for fear.
Remember, you’ve been teaching your kids language skills since the day they were born, even if you didn’t realize it.
How Children Acquire Language
Children learn language naturally. Just like your kids learned to talk without a Teach Your Baby to Talk board-book-textbook, they can learn how to write in a natural and fun way—a way that will help you both get excited about learning.
For homeschooling language arts, you can opt for a textbook approach like a public school does. Or you can choose the natural approach for listening, reading, writing, and speaking. A natural approach to language arts (like the one BookShark uses) immerses kids in all facets of communication in an age-appropriate way.
One tool in this natural teaching toolbox is incredibly simple yet extremely effective. It’s kind of like the Swiss army knife of language teaching methods since it teaches and reinforces multiple skills.
This tool is copywork.
What Is Copywork?
Copywork is simply writing down a sentence or passage from an example. While children copy from this example, they can concentrate on punctuation, correct spelling, and penmanship because they aren’t busy composing the sentences themselves.
When we consider all that young learners are putting together at the same time, it’s easy to understand why writing might be overwhelming.
Copywork reduces the overload.
Copywork is closely related to how your kids learned to speak. You, an expert in talking with many years of experience, spoke to them, and they imitated the sounds. And with each new word they acquired, you kept talking to them. Before you knew it, they were stringing whole sentences together—eventually grammatically correct sentences without ever being formally taught the rules of grammar.
With copywork, kids get to imitate both expert and experienced writers by writing the author’s words on paper.
Copywork—An Effective Way to Teach Language Arts Skills
In the natural approach, language skills aren’t seen as separate subjects to be taught, but as a whole. That doesn’t mean you won’t ever focus on a particular area. But your curriculum will be real books.
When kids consistently use copywork as a part of their language arts studies, they encounter words in context and see how rules are applied. You will be amazed at how they naturally absorb rules of capitalization, punctuation, spelling, phonics, and other grammar skills.
Go back to the idea of how they learned to talk. They didn’t need grammar lessons. But as they heard you speak correctly over and over, they mastered the rules of grammar and sentence structure simply by absorbing them. Sure, they made mistakes along the way, but you knew it was just a part of the process. You even thought their mistakes were cute.
Why Copywork Works
Copywork respects the way kids learn language skills and takes advantage of it. Kids learn to write from actual writers, not textbook producers, by immersing them in real writing.
Copywork reinforces skills they have already learned. Your students copy out of the books they are reading. They’ll encounter the passage within context. They will both hear it and write it.
Skills are reinforced in a natural, not contrived, way. Our kids can do countless exercises in grammar books and memorize a multitude of spelling words, but when they do those things out of the context of real writing, those skills often don’t translate to their personal writing. With copywork, students encounter words in context and see the rules of grammar in action. They know not just the what but the how.
How to Use Copywork
Start small. Think of it as building language muscles. Just as you wouldn’t have a child start lifting one-hundred-pound. weights to get in shape, you don’t want to overwhelm them with long, complex copywork passages. For example, BookShark copywork passages have been chosen with children’s abilities in mind. But every kid is different! You are the teacher, so adjust the amount of copywork if needed to fit your child. If the passage seems too cumbersome, either shorten it or stretch it across more days.
Though studying many subjects works great sitting on the couch, be sure they are comfortably working at a table or desk to do copywork. Sitting up straight with feet on the floor will help young learners both focus and form good writing habits.
We are more likely to embrace something when we understand the rationale behind it. So show your kids why copywork is beneficial. Talk about the fact that they will be learning to write from great authors. Explain that copywork will help them go beyond learning rules to actually applying them.
Don’t Fall into One of These Copywork Pits
A pitfall is a hidden or unsuspected danger or difficulty. These are a couple of common pitfalls when it comes to using copywork in your homeschool language arts.
1. Lack of Consistency
Guess what? No matter how great any learning method is, sometimes kids will balk at being required to do anything. They would often rather be building LEGO bricks or coloring.
When kids think there’s a choice, they’ll usually go with whatever requires the least amount of effort (a lot like us adults!). Copywork requires focus, and it can be uncomfortable in the beginning for many children. That’s okay.
For those who are especially reluctant, you might need to shorten copywork passages, or perhaps let them choose what they will copy that day. You can even set a timer for around five minutes so they know there’s an end in sight. But do require something each day so that it becomes a habit.
2. Not Valuing Copywork Enough
It seems too simple to be really effective, doesn’t it? Since most of us were brought up with a learn with constant drill-and-practice mentality, it’s easy to think copywork won’t really be that beneficial. If you don’t believe how effective it is and embrace it, neither will your kids. It’s amazing how much our kids pick up on our attitudes.
BookShark Language Arts
When your children study language arts the natural way as BookShark teaches it, they will really learn it. Not simply to pass a test, but in a way that truly makes them better communicators.
Copywork is just one of the many ways your kids will encounter language naturally. With BookShark, all of the components of a well-rounded, natural approach to teaching Language Arts will help your students to grow in their abilities in a way that is developmentally appropriate.
As homeschoolers, the idea of having children who can complete school lessons, projects, and assignments on their own can be enticing. Mom, who usually bears the burden of the homeschool planning and teaching, gets a break, and children take responsibility for their own education. Sounds like a win for both parties, right? Yes, but let’s delve into this idea of independent learning more deeply:
How do you know when your child is readyto learn on his own?
How much should you push your children towards working solo?
Exactly how do you train your kids to learn independently?
Is independent learning even possible?
Is It Really Possible for Children to Learn Independently?
Does independent learning really exist? The answer depends on how you define the term. All of us need to learn from someone or some kind of starting point of reference, so it’s not realistic to expect our kids to learn without any guidance at all. For example, the cornerstone of the BookShark curriculum is parent and child, learning together over great books. Sure, older kids can do their assignments and reading alone, but they would miss the insights from their parents that come from discussing the History and Literature. So consider what you and your kids lose when they learn on their own.
With that said, it is possible and wonderful to teach our children to take ownership of their education. In our family, the kids complete some of their homeschool assignments on their own, which—in my mind—qualifies as independent learning. For example, my oldest daughter does most of her lessons and quizzes herself while I help her review and prepare for testing. For our younger children, independent learning might include Read-Aloud sessions, worksheets, and simple crafts while the bulk of the learning is done alongside a parent.
When Can A Child Start to Learn on His Own?
Some early education methods, such as Montessori, encourage teaching children self-reliance at a young age. Others, such as unschooling, promote allowing a child time to develop his or her own educational interests.
Since children mature at different rates, there is no specific age when parents should begin to teach kids to work on their own. As parents, we know our children best. We know when they’re ready to move on to more advanced concepts, and we know what they’re capable of doing.
While it would be unrealistic to expect a very young child (grades K – 3) to learn solo, it could also stunt your child if you continue to hover when he’s ready for greater autonomy. In each family, parents have to assess their children’s abilities and skills to determine when they are ready to complete schoolwork on an independent basis. Trust your gut on this decision. You will know when the time is right and how much liberty to allow your kids. If you are unsure, ask them! They often know exactly what they need and can tell you how much support and direction to offer.
How to Help Kids Learn Independently
Children, like adults, need very little guidance or encouragement to do the things they like. Naturally, if our children enjoy what they are learning in school, they will develop the self-motivation to complete many of their assignments without much prodding or direction.
A good way to help kids become self-motivated is to allow them to have a say in their education. Let them choose a few of the books on the reading list this year. Or allow them to choose a few animals, places, or historical events to study.
For example, at the beginning of our school year, we make a list of all the things our kids would like to learn about. Then we try our best to work those topics into our lessons. When I announce that we’ll be covering one of those topics, the kids are so excited that they’re willing to do whatever assignment they’re given—even independently.
Another way to help kids learn to complete their schoolwork independently is to teach them to manage their time. Upper elementary and middle school grades are a wonderful time to start working on this skill. Start by giving kids to to lists to check off. Then give them blank weekly planners to fill in on their own and check off completed work.
As an example, our middle schooler, who has ADHD, is learning to create a weekly schedule for herself. She tries to complete all of her schoolwork in four days, so she can have an “off” day each week. Setting up her own routine has helped her develop the drive to get her assignments done on her own and on time.
As homeschoolers, we can make independent learning fit into our family’s educational goals, abilities, and grade levels. By giving our children a say in their education and helping them learn to manage their time, we can help them become independent learners for life.
About the Author
Selena is a homeschooling graduate and a veteran homeschooling mother of four, including three with ADHD. She and her husband, Jay, use an eclectic homeschooling approach to encourage their children to learn throughout their lives. Selena blogs about her family’s homeschooling adventures every week at Look! We’re Learning!
Have you ever heard the myth that homeschool parents need to be extremely organized to successfully homeschool? Maybe you tell someone you homeschool and their reaction is, “Oh! You must be so organized!” Or you attend a homeschool convention and hear speaker after speaker talking about planners, schedules, calendars, and organizational systems as if those are more important that reading aloud and doing science experiments.
Well, I strongly disagree with the assumption that you must be organized to be an effective homeschooler, and here’s why. I am a disorganized mess, and we have a very successful homeschool nevertheless!
What do I mean by a disorganized mess? Here are a few examples:
I’ve never successfully maintained a planner.
We don’t have a single file folder holding school papers.
If we can find enough pencils for everyone to write at the same time, it’s a good day.
Now you may be wondering, “If you are so disorganized, how do you ever get your homeschool work done?”
First, I think it’s important to point out that kids do not need constant academic instruction. Most homeschooled kids can accomplish a lot of the more academic needs in a much smaller amount of time thanks to the small teacher/student ratio and the ability to move at the student’s pace.
Second, kids learn a lot through everyday life. We don’t need to have a plan for every moment of the day for them to learn.
Third, while many parents are organized, there are plenty of parents who are not at all organized. And you never know the whole story of someone else’s life. That super mom you are comparing yourself to may not be quite as organized as she seems from the outside looking in.
Benefits of Being a Disorganized Mess
Not many people see benefits to being disorganized. And truthfully, there aren’t many. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve bought two of the same item simply because I forgot I had bought it in the first place. That’s not an advantage of being disorganized.
But being disorganized has allowed us to be a bit more spontaneous. Since we don’t usually have a set plan, it’s easy to take time off to explore a newfound interest. When we are in the middle of a lesson and my sons want to expand on it, we can. We can drop whatever we are doing and not worry about ruining our schedule (because we don’t follow one).
How to Get Stuff Done in Your Homeschool
When your mind opens to the reality of homeschooling, it can be overwhelming to think about all the possibilities that you could cover with your children. There are so many academic subjects plus extracurriculars, field trips, and supplements. I have two steps to combat the overwhelming feeling of trying to get it all done.
Simplifying. I write down all the subjects i want to cover in a year (or even semester). Then I rank them in order of importance. For instance, we would put math ahead of science and science ahead of coding, etc. Once I have my list, I consider what I can eliminate. Do I really need to do grammar lessons this year or is it something that could wait until my boys are older? I write everything that is left in order of importance and determine a basic routine to get it done. We do math twice a week, reading twice a week, and rotate history and science on a weekly basis. This very simple structure means we get things done without feeling hemmed into a strict regime.
Writing down my goals. What are my goals in homeschooling? Do I want my kids to gather all the possible knowledge they can? Or are my goals more about making learning fun? Knowing and understanding my ultimate goal helps me realize what matters and what doesn’t matter. Our main goal is to teach our kids how to learn. When we focus on only that, the overwhelming feeling of getting it all done is simplified to just one task.
Choose the Right Curriculum
A lot of successful homeschooling in general is choosing the right curriculum. Homeschooling as a disorganized mess is no different. For me, an open and go curriculum works best. When I can just sit down and start the lesson without prep work, it eases the effect of my disorganization. We are able to start any time we please without organizing the lesson first. I don’t need to have a planner or spend hours a week figuring out what we need to do. I just open the Instructor’s Guide and do the next thing.
Not all curriculum can be open and go though. Any hands-on curricula will need at least a bit of preparation. I prefer programs either offer a concise material lists of items normally found in a household or a program like BookShark’s science that comes with a kit of required materials. That kit is a lifesaver for a mom who isn’t great at planning ahead.
So when you’re searching for curriculum, consider how much prep time is required. If you’re a disorganized mess, you might want to stay away from ones that require more planning and stick with something that lets you open up a guide and do the next thing.
About the Author
Erin blogs at RoyalBaloo.com where she inspires people to make learning fun! Through printables, games, activities, and unit studies, learning becomes an adventure worth having.
This year in our homeschool we will be studying Central America. Although we have a great collection of books to read about the topic, I also wanted to find age appropriate videos that show us more about the different countries we’ll be visiting. As much as we adore a literature-based homeschool curriculum, we still love adding on the visual component with online streaming.
I turned to YouTube and found many good picks that I know will enhance our learning. I often turn on YouTube during breakfast or lunch for a special treat. We’ll spread out a blanket and have a carpet picnic while learning more about the world around us. Here are some of the videos we’ll be using for our exploration of the continent of Central America.
This 50 minute video by Expoza Travel is an in depth look at all there is to see and do in Mexico! You may add a few things to your vacation bucket list after you watch this enticing video!
We have always loved watching the Travel With Kids series of videos,and this 30 minute episode follows our favorite traveling family as they explore the beaches, jungle, and culture of Belize.
While this short 3 minute video will require an adult to read to younger children, it was very informative—teaching us all sorts of wonderful snippets about the country. This would be a good one for filling out a note taking sheet as you watch.
This quick 2 minute video takes the viewer through a day in the life of a child living in El Salvador. I find my kids relate well to these types of narratives that help them imagine themselves living in the land we are studying.
This 13 minute video follows a brother and sister pair of high school students as they volunteer in a Students Helping Honduras program. I loved that this combines the culture and people of Honduras with humanitarian service.
This 5 minute video by How Stuff Works not only explains how the canal works but goes into a bit of the history of the canal, including its construction.
This 7 minute video by National Geographic features two young kids who are learning about some of the animals which live in the rainforests of Costa Rica.
This 11 minute video by Most Amazing Top 10 takes the viewer through some pretty interesting facts about Mexico. (Please note that fact #5 is all about crime and drug cartels and as such may not be appropriate for all children. Please preview.)
Another 30 minute video by Travel with Kids focuses on the island of Utila just off the coast of Honduras. The film explores both above and below the water.
We find that videos make a great jumping off point for diving into a new territory or a fun wrap up of a lesson we’ve just covered. If you like this post, you will probably also love these video lists for other continents:
6 YouTube Videos for Exploring Australia in Your Homeschool dream house, I’ll have wall to wall bookshelves filled with books. There will be homeschooling books, educational books, entertaining books, and more. I’ll put Belle’s library to shame. But until then, I am happy with the space, and the book storage, that I have.
Joanne Rawson is the author of the blog Our Unschooling Journey. Known around the web as Mother of 3, Joanne began her blog when she first started homeschooling her three boys in 2012. She lives in Connecticut with her family and enjoys reading, crafting, and traveling… all of which usually ends up on her blog.
Purchasing a secular kindergarten program when I started teaching my first child, I thought I had a full grasp of the definition of secular homeschool curriculum. That was 19 years ago. I’ve since learned that the meanings of secular homeschooling and secular curriculum are not as straightforward as I may have thought.
Here are some considerations to help you dissect what is a secular homeschooler and what is secular curriculum.
Realize that Words Can Have Different Meanings
Not all curriculum providers embrace the same definition to the word secular, and the difference often comes out of the personal views of the author or publisher. It’s not that anyone is trying to be deceptive. It’s just that the same words can mean slightly different things.
By way of a silly example, someone from Chicago may balk at what a Southerner calls pizza—some flimsy, thin crust concoction that is nothing like the doughy slab that is more common farther north. Is this a conspiracy aimed to deceive? No. This is a difference in interpretation, experience, and vocabulary.
What Does Secular Mean?
That’s why you need to dig around and find out exactly what kind of pizza (or curriculum) you are getting to avoid disappointments! When shopping for homeschool materials, scour through the company’s About page, FAQ, and the Scope and Sequence to understand both the methodology and worldview of a program. When in doubt, contact the publisher outright and ask!
Don’t Confuse the Curriculum with the Education
Maybe you see a phrase like BookShark uses—faith-neutral curriculum. Don’t confuse that label with a faith-neutral educationbecause there is a difference. You may select a faith-neutral curriculum and be a secular homeschooler. Or you may choose a faith-neutral curriculum and be a Muslim or Christian homeschooler. It’s like a game of mix and match when it comes to labels!
One common thread all homeschool families can agree on regardless of their views is the right to educate our children in our belief system. You are the ultimate teacher of your views whether they are faith-based or non-religious. A curriculum can help you do that, but ultimately the job is yours. The day to day teaching, tutoring, and modeling your beliefs is the true education. Faith-neutral curriculum gives you the freedom to make deliberate choices. So a family that chooses a faith-neutral curriculum may actually have a faith-steeped education—or not. One isn’t necessarily connected to the other.
A few decades ago, the line between secular and religious homeschoolers seemed clearer. Either you were a secular family who did not believe in religion and adhered to evolution or you were a religious (usually Christian) family that believed in creation. However, this simple dichotomy is no longer the case in the homeschool world.
Today, secular homeschool families may be identified as religious or not religious.
What is the Definition of Secular Homeschooling?
For example, a family may choose to take a secular or neutral approach to education while still adhering to a personal system of faith. They are secular homeschoolers but they may be Muslims, Hindus, Christian, or Jewish. Their faith is something separate from their home education.
Secular homeschoolers who are not religious take many forms:
families who purposely choose to not teach religion
families who are not especially devout and prefer to let the child make his own choice as he grows
families of mixed faith who want to honor two different cultural backgrounds
families who want to teach their children that there is no one right religion but to respect all religions
familes who are atheist
families that espouse paganism
All of these families may consider themselves secular homeschoolers, but their beliefs are vastly contrasting!
Other homeschoolers may choose a secular or faith-neutral homeschool program while being very committed to their religious beliefs. They may buy a secular program but not consider themselves secular homeschoolers because they weave their beliefs into the tapestry of the education they provide their children.
For example, if they are Christian, they want to teach their children the Bible and want to be ensured that their curriculum is neutral of any anti-faith bias or government influence.
Also, there are plenty of religious homeschoolers who have less popular (or less orthodox) beliefs and would prefer to teach their own way of thinking when it comes to matters of the age of the earth, the origins of mankind, etc. They choose to use secular homeschool curriculum because they it’s easier to teach their views using resources from their worship center or from their own research. These homeschoolers may buy a secular curriculum, but they wouldn’t be appropriately labeled secular homeschoolers.
Surprise! This post didn’t succinctly define secular homeschooling or a secular homeschool. And that’s the entire point. These labels are general guides, and if you truly want to know what they mean, you’ll have to dig a bit further by asking probing questions—either from a curriculum provider or from a homeschool parent.
It’s hard to categorize all secular homeschool families with a single description because they hold different beliefs and motivations to educate at home. Homeschooling is constantly changing, and with it the meaning of secular curriculum and secular homeschooling also changes. What’s not hard is savoring the many choices of curriculum, cherishing the moments of learning together, and making lifetime memories regardless of our personal beliefs. We all believe in this—our kids are best served by being educated at home by their parents.
About the Author
Tina Robertson celebrated the graduation of Mr. Senior in 2013 and Mr. Awesome in 2015. Because of her love for new homeschoolers, she mentors moms through her unique program called New Bee Homeschoolers. She loves all homeschoolers, though, as she shares her free 7 Step Curriculum Planner, unit studies, lapbooks and homeschooling how tos. She can’t sing, dance, or craft, but she counts organizing as a hobby. She is still in the homeschool trenches blogging at Tina’s Dynamic Homeschool Plus.
EPISODE 145 SEASON 4 | What makes a successful student or person? While there are a LOT of items on that checklist, there are a set of skills that can make it a great deal easier to be successful. This skill set is called executive functioning. It is a broad group of mental skills that enable people to complete tasks and interact with others. It is a skill set that allows a student/person to write that final paper, plan a business outline, or follow a set of instructions on what chores to do in a specific manner.
Join Janna and her guest Dr. Lauran Kerr-Heraly as they discuss time management and other executive functioning skills. Learn how you can help your child as they move through their educational journey.
ABOUT OUR GUEST | Lauran Kerr-Heraly is an award-winning educator and author who has dedicated her career to transforming lives through education. She was homeschooled all the way through high school, which allowed her to develop a deep appreciation for self-directed learning and a passion for helping others to take control of their education. Lauran has worked in college readiness in American high schools, taught in international and British schools in England, and currently serves as a professor in an American community college. Her innovative teaching includes turning a classroom into an escape room, multidisciplinary projects showcasing personal food histories and environmental justice, and experimental learning spaces. She helps students and parents develop a holistic approach to college success, which includes a focus on essential skills, executive function, and emotional awareness.
Janna 00:00 Welcome to Homeschool Your Way. I’m your host Janna Koch and BookSharks Community Manager. Today I am joined by Dr. Lauran Kerr-Heraly. She’s an award-winning educator and author, who has dedicated her career to transforming lives through education. Fun fact, she was also homeschooled.
I’m super excited to delve into our topic today about executive functioning. And believe it or not, it’s not just students who find themselves with a possible deficit in this area. Lauran, thank you so much for being here.
Lauran 00:30 Thanks for having me.
Janna 00:33 Why don’t you go ahead and give us just a little bit of your background and how you became involved in homeschooling? Kind of not even of your own volition?
Lauran 00:44 Yes, well, so I was homeschooled K through 12. And I like to say my parents were homeschool pioneers because we were one of two homeschooling families and my entire town and Wyoming. So things have changed quite a bit from them. But I really loved being homeschooled. And I graduated when I was 15 went straight to community college, which I also loved so much that I am now a community college professor. So as a student, I had a really good opportunity to learn about homeschooling. And now, I teach a lot of homeschoolers through the community college system, either in dual credit or recent graduates. And I’m also planning to homeschool my own kiddo. So I’ve gotten into a lot more kinds of homeschool groups and discussions, as of late.
Janna 01:36 Do you find it interesting that because you were homeschooled, you didn’t automatically want to homeschool your child because I’m the same way I actually didn’t. I resisted it for years about homeschooling my own children.
Lauran 01:49 I think it’s, you know, it’s something we considered. When we were looking at educational options, we considered homeschooling, private, public, whatever. And it just seemed like it wasn’t quite the right time. But now that our kiddo is getting to middle school, we want to road school and we want to do all these things that we think would be beneficial for our whole family. So it’s Yeah, it is interesting, because it’s always different with your own kid. And it’s part of why homeschooling works is because you can tailor it to what their needs are. And you can start homeschooling and then go to public school, and then go back if you want. So there’s there’s a lot of flexibility.
Janna 02:30 That’s nice. I think it’s a common misconception that if you were homeschooled, and you don’t choose to homeschool your children that must mean you had a negative experience. And that was not at all the case for me. I really enjoyed homeschooling, it just didn’t fit our family at the time.
Lauran 02:46 Exactly. And you know, my sister who was home-schooled with me is homeschooling her three kiddos. And so we both had a great experience, it was just more of the needs of our family, which is what we all want to really look at is what is the best possible educational situation for our kids.
Janna 03:03 And now you find yourself surrounded by homeschooled children coming up into young adulthood, looking to you and wanting more information at a higher level of learning. What has been your experience as you see this next generation of homeschoolers coming up into the collegiate realm?
Lauran 03:26 So one thing that I see with every teenager, regardless of their educational background, because you can prepare them with all the right SATs, classes, and all that subject tutoring, and you’ve got the essay writing coach, and you’ve been to all the extracurriculars. Every student when they are a young adult will struggle with executive function. And executive function. To put it plainly is the set of skills that help us get things done. It’s the mental processes that tell us to get things done. And the demands that are required of a student in high school, whether they’re at home school, or not exceed what their brains can do. And part of that is not their fault part of it too, because we ask a lot of them. Part of it might also be that we’ve scaffolded too much. You know, I think a lot of parents think, especially if they didn’t get a lot of help when they were a teenager, they want to sort of make sure their kid has everything. And that’s why Yeah. And homeschoolers have the opportunity to help their students in every possible way. But sometimes that means that they don’t have the skills to do things on their own. So those are some of the things that I see they’re universal, but particularly for homeschoolers, I remember you know, as I mentioned, I was 15 when I graduated straight to community college, and I had great homeschool education. academically, I was very prepared for the college environment. But I was not necessarily ready socially. And I don’t just mean with my peers, I mean, interacting with adults, I mean, navigating the systems of the college, registration and payment and scholarships, and all of that I was not prepared for. So there is this big jump, that we kind of expect students to go from having their schedule completely planned out. You know, even in homeschool, we say you have to do these five things, here’s the order, I recommend, and I’m going to check on you and half an hour and make sure that all of this is going well, you don’t have that in college, even if you’re living at home, and you’re in a college environment, you don’t have that kind of oversight. So it’s something that can be kind of a shock for students. When they get to the college environment, or even the high school environment.
Janna 05:59 It’s amazing how we, as parents try so hard to make sure that our kids are completely prepared. And what I am finding in my parenting, my twins will be 18 Soon is that we all parent, kind of from our own deficit. So like you’re saying, like, Okay, so maybe our generation had a little bit less oversight, right as I mean, and it kind of sounds like probably my homeschool experience was very different than yours. I was left to my own, I sought out my education, I loved education, so nobody could stop me, right, like nobody had to check on me. But from that, I do feel like I have micromanaged my own children, even as they have done concurrent enrollment, and being outside of the home. Because in my mind, this is what I would have wanted when I had been homeschooled, and I have to constantly remind myself that they didn’t have the same upbringing. So their need is not my need. And I know this is not groundbreaking, but as homeschool parents, I think sometimes it has to be reiterated like, you are naturally parenting your children and preparing them out of what you experienced their experience is not the same.
Lauran 07:15 Correct. And it’s important to recognize that they’re also growing up in a different world than we were when we were kids. You know, just homeschooling in general, like I said, two families in one town, and we had to drive five hours to the once-a-year homeschool convention, that was our only support. And now there’s so much support that it’s totally overwhelming. Like, if you search for Facebook groups, for homeschooling, it’s you’re gonna get everything. So in a way, we have to figure out how our kids how our students can get the individualized systems created for them. And they need to be part of that process that works for them. We have students who have different learning styles, we have a lot of neurodivergent, that, you know, finally we’re starting to recognize this society. And we have people who are interested in different career pathways, but they’re all going to have to take my history one-on-one class, and they might not care. So we have to figure out how to get them to care about everything that they’re involved in, and sometimes how to push through and do the boring things. And then also how to take ownership of their education and their skill set.
Janna 08:33 So when you’re seeing these students come into your classroom, and you’re recognizing these this deficit, what what are some of the tips that you have, that you share with your students, and then we can kind of talk about to the program that you created since you were seeing this so frequently.
Lauran 08:51 So if I’m going to speak to my college classroom, one thing that they really struggle with is knowing how much time the course is going to take. So I would say to them, it’s going to be you know, and I have a whole calculation, I’ve got a video on this that we can put in the show notes. But it’s how to calculate the time that you need for a college course. And this is a good thing to practice for high school homeschoolers because they can see, okay, this semester, my history class, is this many weeks, and this is how much time I need to spend per week and this is how I’m going to break it down, etc. So I do go through with them and encourage them to find time in their weeks. I have a lot of students who have care responsibilities, they have full-time jobs, etc. And this is also true of homeschool students who are dual credit or recent grads because they’re often taking care of younger siblings. They’re interning maybe in a company or they’re working to pay for their education. So it is significant that they sit down and they find a time in their week. It’s also important, you know, as we want to have warm open communication with our high schoolers, we want to have that same warm open communication with our college students. So I wouldn’t necessarily sit down with my sophomore in college and say, let’s figure out, you know, the 10 hours a week that you need to study. But I would ask them, to have an open conversation with you, you know, my students, I tell them, You need to tell your friends that between these two hours, you are not available, your phone is off, you can’t do the dishes, they’ll do them later, whatever it is you but you need to sort of, you know, arrange that time. So time management is a big thing. Time blindness is maybe a term that is a bit newer, but that is the sense that when you think, Oh, this thing is going to take five minutes, but it actually is a two-hour task. Or conversely, it’s a three-hour task, or you think it’s a three-hour task. And it’s a five-minute task. So you put it off till the very last minute, right? So having a perception of time that’s realistic can be a pretty big game changer. It comes to emotional regulation, which is a big part of executive function because that is a brain function that comes from the frontal lobe, and again, it’s around 25, that the frontal lobe is fully formed. And that can vary based on, you know, neuro divergence, as well as trauma and other factors. But, so if a student is in college before 25, they’ve got deficits there, right? So we have seen, you know, my spouse has been a high school teacher for a long time, I taught college prep high school, and I taught embedded ACT courses. I’ve taught in boarding schools. I’ve taught in a lot of different types of environments. And then my favorite is now what I’ve been doing for several years, which is Community College.
In all of those environments, I can almost set my watch to midterm. When everyone is going to have a breakdown, the students are going to come to me and they’re going to say I can’t do it anymore. It’s too much. I’m behind. My mom wants this from me, my job wants me to work more hours, or you know, I overcommitted or I wasn’t prepared for this course. And they just shut down. Some of my students will disappear for two weeks and not come back. And then they’ll come back when they’ve like, sort of composed themselves. But I tell them, you need to be communicating with me and the people in your life about what’s going on. So emotional regulation is one of those things that can be practiced. And it can be practiced on a micro level in high school, to start with awareness. And that can be just how are you feeling right now. Do a self-check. We use the feelings we’ll use. You can Google that. But my spouse and I use it too, it’s not just for kids. But it helps you identify? Because you might be able to say, Oh, I’m feeling overwhelmed. That’s not really a specific feeling, right? How can you break that down into something that is more specific? Once you have emotional awareness, then you can make a plan for how to deal with it. But if the midterm breakdown is coming, then you need to be aware of what’s leading to that as well. So practice that on a micro-level in the high school situation. Make sure you have a good support system, and make sure that you’re not overcommitted. And be kind to yourself. That’s a big thing for parents and our kids.
Janna 13:26 When my daughter called me yesterday, crying because there was a mix up with her schedule at school. And my first response is definitely to cry. I mean, I think, I don’t know if I’m the only one but I just feel like tears are my soul’s way of letting go of some of that overwhelm. So definitely cry. And then let’s figure out what had caused the problem. And part of it is, I think, fatalistic thinking of young adults because their frontal lobe is not fully developed. So they do need safe mentors in their lives to walk them through some of these things. It’s like, even though maybe wasn’t stuff that we talked about when we were kids, now we know when we can do better. She felt like she dropped the ball somewhere. And, so I was like, Okay, well, let’s get before we think about the rest of the schedule. Let’s get rid of let’s get down to the bottom of that feeling because that’s going to make you feel insane. If you can’t pinpoint what had happened. So come to find out she hadn’t logged into her college email. And when she did, the class had been canceled just the week before. So she did do that. She did register for it. It was on her calendar, and now she knows why it has disappeared. But once you can kind of like take away that. Oh my gosh, did I make a mistake? I don’t like making mistakes, Lauran. I don’t know that a lot of people do but some personalities can roll with it better than others have in mind. otter is very much like me. And so I was like, Don’t you feel better now that you know that you did do all the right steps and this was completely out of your control, you still feel out of control, right? You still have to come up with a solution. But just taking away that one thing of it, am I not paying attention? Did I do something and didn’t do it properly? It’s like these little things that just immediately when you’re already emotional about, you know, whether you’re finishing up high school and in college, or you’re in college, and you don’t know what the next steps are, that’s incredibly overwhelming emotionally for young adults. And then as parents, we feel it too, and we’re trying to fix things, but we’re trying to let them figure things out on their own. And, it’s this dance that we do that it’s like if we can eliminate things that are causing extra stress, and not eliminate it for them, but helping them walk through the processes to find out how they can eliminate it for themselves. It’s amazing that one thing changed the entire scenario for her.
Lauran 16:01 Well, and I think that’s a great example of how to handle it as a parent because emotional regulation does not mean like you’re a robot, it means figuring out how you feel and then being able to deal with the feelings. So I think that’s great. And, you know, I talked about how I was a procrastinator, and I’m still a procrastinator, but I was a much worse procrastinator in college because I’m a perfectionist. So I finally figured that was I had this moment I was 2am. This was back when we still had computer labs. So it was 2am. They were closing the computer lab, they’re kicking me out, I’m like my papers do the next day and the printer is not working. And I was like, Okay, this has to stop, I have to figure out what’s going on. And I realized that I procrastinated. Because I’m a perfectionist. If I waited till the last minute, I had a reason for why it wasn’t perfect. So once I figured that out, I was able to start earlier, I was able to just let it go, I was you know, a 90, it’s fine. An 85 is fine. Sometimes a 70 is fine, if that’s you know, which is how I handled math. But that, for me was a big game changer. And part of the reason I’m so passionate about executive function is because I’ve taught students with so many various backgrounds for a long time. And my spouse and my child were recently, a couple of years ago, diagnosed with ADHD. And it was one of those things that it was kind of like this lightbulb that like, Oh, this is why this is hard. I know. And this is this is what we can do about it. Because once you sort of know what’s going on with your brain. And in the case of ADHD, it is a disorder. You know, my husband always says I hate it when people say this is a superpower. It’s a disorder, it’s hard. But there are ways to deal with it. And you know, in our case, it’s a mix of medication and routines and just a lot of grace. But knowing all these things about ourselves will help us be a lot more gentle with ourselves. And then again, like I keep saying we have to create systems that work for us. I worked with a student recently, who for an entire year did not write down, any assignments. So was one of my one-to-one clients. And I said so you hate doing this, don’t you? And he said yes. And I said, Okay, well, let’s figure out a way for you to not hate it. So through conversations, we figured out that he’s really into graphic novels. So I said, Let’s every class do a square of a graphic novel. And we came up with a character. And we came up with a little soundcloud. And so this little character tells him what his assignments are for each class. But that was a total change. Because what his brain thought was, I can’t do this. And my brain doesn’t work this way. I can’t write down my assignment. So he didn’t even attempt it. But once we figured that out, it was like, Oh, my brain likes stories. My brain thinks this way. So that we’re doing it this way. And it’s a big change. So it’s liberating to realize that maybe your professor or your parents and homeschool will say you need to put your stuff in a calendar this way. The important thing is you put it on a calendar. Is it an app? Is it did you draw a giant Mind Map? Did you make a graphic novel, whatever it is, it has to work for you or you won’t do it.
Janna 19:20 My youngest daughter refuses to write down things. And I am a list maker and a box checker. So it frustrates me to no end. And as a homeschool parent, I find that everything I talk about it always comes back to how I need to change my perspective, and how I’m looking at things with my children as we’re taking this journey. And so I keep saying, Okay, I just don’t know how you’re not writing it down. It’s just that I’m trying to breathe through it myself because it doesn’t make sense to me. But I also know that you don’t always complete the tasks. So what we have yet to come up with is the system, we’re still kind of working on it. And if first you don’t succeed, try try again, right? I find that demanding things of my older children now really tends to backfire. And I really would rather partner with them to help them be successful, as opposed to them just being obedient. And that’s definitely not the type of parenting that I was modeled. And so it has taken well, almost 18 years with my first to, to really try to understand that executive function isn’t something that is natural to necessarily a lot of people. I mean, it’s something that can be developed, but you have to be aware of it right, you have to be aware that you don’t have a process. And, some people are just naturally, they make the list, and it feels good. And that works with their personality. But that’s not everybody. And so as a parent, it’s so frustrating. But it’s important to recognize these things so that when our kids do get to college or outside of our home, you know, they are prepared, even if it’s not the way we would have done it.
Lauran 21:05 Well, I think that you made several good points there. And I want to capitalize on the fact that you say you want to partner with your kids, which is the best way to do it. Because, and sometimes, you know, my daughter, and I think very differently. I have anxiety, she has ADHD. And so sometimes we’re like speaking different languages. So one of the things that has been successful for us, and what I suggest to parents is to find someone who thinks like them, some kind of other mentor that has, particularly if you can find a recent college grad. That’s golden because they’ll see, okay, this person is not a list taker, but they graduated, they did okay, what did they do? Right? So that can be helpful. Because our kids always want to listen to someone besides us, right? The other thing I would say is, when we are trying to support our kids, this is something that I have learned to do with my students, as well as with my own child is to not have hard starts. So that would be like, you know, the they come in the door, I got your report card. What did you do? Like, how could you like, you know, whatever it is? And instead of saying, first of all, you reconnect, how are you? But then with my students, I’ll say, you know, I’m noticing that you’re struggling. What’s going on? Like, let’s find out, I’m inviting them to tell me the emotional reason that things aren’t going well, right? And it’s also an opportunity for them to, because if I go to them, and I say you haven’t turned in the last two assignments, you’re gonna fail the course, that relationship is over, right? So what we’re trying to do is invite our students to come to us before things are dire, right? So this can be something that happens with a lot of first-generation college students in particular, or maybe they’ve had, they’ve been homeschooled, and so they feel some pressure to succeed because they’ve had a different type of education than their peers is that they, they’re not doing well, in a class or they’re not doing well at college socially. They’re miserable, they’re whatever, but they don’t tell anybody. And they just wait till the end of the semester until they fail. And failure is not the end, you know, I have students who have taken my class, I am very proud of this student who just took my class for the third time. And he had a lot of emotional stuff going on. He had all kinds of issues that were challenges, I should say. And he passed my class on the third time and we celebrated, you know, so failure is not the end. But also it’s before that midterm breakdown. Let’s have a conversation with our kids and say, How are things going? If you’re struggling in this class, it’s okay. If you’re struggling socially, it’s okay. So having that kind of safety net to put out for our kids, in the beginning, invites them to open up instead of saying, I’m just gonna, you know, I lost my financial aid because I failed a class and now I’m sleeping on my friend’s couch, so you won’t know about it. It’s a big stream, but it happens maybe more than you would realize. So again, that warm open communication, trying to figure out what’s going on emotionally inviting them to help you help them. The biggest thing is it’s their idea, right?
Janna 24:35 Well, that in and of itself is a whole other college course that I think all parents would take if it were available to us. Lauran, I am so pleased to hear you giving homeschool parents permission to give grace. I think sometimes there’s this outside pressure along with inside pressure when we choose to do something that’s countercultural, and then we feel the need to prove to those around us whoever they are, that we made the right decision for our children that we didn’t mess them up in some way. And so from the pressure out and the pressure in, it boils over and our children are unfortunately kind of a casualty that happens in that they’re the force that you know, that feels our force when it happens. So permission to give ourselves grace, and then that there’s nothing wrong with giving our children grace. And it really doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks. Because when everybody’s 35, and in their career and has their own families, if that’s their, what they choose, like, none of this stuff, none of the pressures are going to matter. But it’s what we do in the day-to-day, the relationship building that does matter.
Lauran 25:50 And the reality of the matter is, we’ve all done the best we can with the knowledge that we had. And so we need to give ourselves so much grace, because we’re learning as our kids are learning. And the world is changing very quickly. And maintaining a close relationship can be difficult, and it can be felt like a mountain that we’re climbing, but you just have to hang in there and be supportive. The because the students I know, you know, could be the first generation students whose parents don’t speak English. And they have very little context for the college experience. The ones that do better, are the ones who have a close relationship with their parents, and they can go to them and say I’m struggling, they can go to them and whatever. So that it is really significant. But, you know, being homeschooled myself, sometimes I’ll say to people, you know, I was homeschooled, and they’re sort of surprised, not because they, they don’t think it’s legitimate, but it’s like, oh, but now you have a doctorate and you’re doing this or whatever. I’m like, Yeah, so you’re right. But once we get to a certain point, it doesn’t matter. And we don’t really need to compare ourselves to anyone. In any situation, you know, this is this can be difficult if you have a neurodivergent child. And they’re being compared with their behavior or their you know, you know, for my daughter, she’s sometimes pulled out of situations so that she can get extra time or whatever it is. And I would encourage everyone, you know, I’m not a psychologist, not a neurologist. So if you suspect any kind of learning challenge with your child, definitely go and get them, you know, assessed because it is a game changer. My husband was 40 when he was diagnosed. And it’s like, it’s changed our whole life. But my students who have their letters, there are lots of accommodations, you know, that that has to be formalized. I have several students who have letters but never turn them into me. And because it’s they want to start over when they’re in college and prove that their dyslexia or their ADHD is not going to hold them back. And they can just do it their own way. Don’t make it hard for yourself, you know, and make it so that I always say smart students ask for help successful students ask for help. All you’re doing is getting the support that you need for the way that your brain works, and the way that you need to have help. You know, I had a, what, like an assistant dog in my class last semester, and I was like, This is great. Made everyone is happier, right? So because that student took the steps that she needed to have her emotional support dog with her so that she could focus in class. So this is, it benefits everyone if you get the help that you need.
Janna 28:44 Well, before we go, can you share a hack with our listeners?
Lauran 28:49 Yes. Just one. Okay. One of the things that with, you know, I’ve talked about executive function kind of in a sort of umbrella sort of way. But again, it’s really the set of skills that helps us get things done. It’s the working memory, it which helps us remember, processes, people with deficits and working memory, can remember, you know, we’re a big trivia family. So my husband can remember all kinds of trivia about like the 50 states, but he can’t remember to, like, unload the dishwasher. That’s working memory, right? And it’s something we joke about, but that’s just an aside. Anyway. So it’s mental flexibility. It’s emotional regulation. So on my website, I have an infographic called the College Prep Essential Skills infographic. What I recommend as a hack is to look at that infographic it’s I’ve divided it into skills of scholastic study, social, and sensibility, which is the emotional part. And so what I recommend is for you to take a couple of weeks and write down executive function skills that your kids do really well. I’ll. So for example, one of the executive function skills is being able to sort of remember and also process what you’ve read. So if your child reads a book and tells you about it, and has an opinion about it, that’s well-founded based on the text, write that down, write that, because that’s an let’s put it in a positive category, if they were helpful to a sibling, but that in the sensibility emotional regulation category, that’s positive, right? It can be really helpful for you as a parent to see, okay, maybe they’re like, again, that fatalistic attitude of like, nothing is working, you know, you got to start with the positive. And then I would take another week to note down some areas of growth. And then I would not go to your child and say, I’ve been observing you like a weird scientist for the last couple of weeks. But to say, you know, I’ve noticed that time management has been a struggle. And I wonder if there are some things that we could change or a way that I could help you? Can we change a system, etc. So that’s my hack is to start observing these skills, and then to pick just one or two things at a time, that maybe you as a family can work on together. And maybe that’s first you saying, like, you don’t have this to say, like,I have a list? Why doesn’t my kid have a list? You know, to step back, and maybe maybe the first change is to change your perspective. And then to think, okay, but there is still a gap, there’s still not turning things in on time, or the tasks aren’t getting completed. So list is not the answer. The problem is the tasks aren’t happening. What executive function skill category can we work on? To close that gap?
Janna 31:49 I hear you saying is literature-based learning where we read to our kids, and then have discussions and have them tell us the story back is a great way to build executive functions.
Lauran 32:01 Yes. And you can start, you know, we’re not born with zero executive functions, we all have them, they just need to be developed. And you start in kindergarten with, you know, my kid loved that memory game, right? Where you put all the cards down and you pick up to, that’s your developing memory, and then you develop working memory from then. So the book discussions, the memory games, the, you know, all in all, I could go on and on. But there are a lot of things that you could do in elementary school, to help your kids develop this. And you don’t necessarily have to tell them, that’s what you’re doing. But yes, all of those will help, there are a lot of things about homeschooling that do help build executive function, and that’s a positive thing I want to say. It’s just a matter of developing them and scaffolding them as they grow older, because, like I said, the demands grow higher than the executive function skills are at a faster pace.
Janna 33:02 So I think it’s also natural as our children start to age, we stop playing memory games, right? We kind of get away from reading aloud if you’re not in a program like BookShark, that it’s the forefront of the curriculum. And being intentional to continue and scaffold these very things are going to be so helpful for parents to continue to help grow their children in this area, which is an area that has not been growing. Maybe the best way it can be so Lauran, thank you so much for coming on today. How can our listeners learn more about what you offer through your courses?
Lauran 33:43 The best way to get to me is through my website, alteringcourse.com all my socials are on there. As I said, the infographic is on there. And all of my offerings are on there I have executive function cohorts is what I call them, and you can join the waitlist at any time. They are virtual experiences for students and or parents. And we do a lot of fun things in there to to assess executive function skills to help improve them. There’s a lot of gamification involved. So those are fun sessions but also you’ll come away with some really good skills and ways to continue to improve them.
Janna 34:27 And then you had a special for our listeners if they wanted to connect with you and purchase something from you, what can they expect?
Lauran 34:36 So you can get 10% off any products that I offer with the code bookshark.
Janna 34:41 Alright, you guys, you heard it here. Go to alteringcourse.com and learn more about what Lauran has available to help you and your students learn executive functioning and ways to improve what you already know your children have. Make sure to use the code bookshark if you want to purchase something from her and we’ll have all the information including the link to the infographic in the show notes thank you so much, Lauran. Thank you guys, until next time goodbye
Roald Dahl said, “By the time I am nearing the end of a story, the first part will have been reread and altered and corrected at least one hundred and fifty times. I am suspicious of both facility and speed. Good writing is essentially rewriting. I am positive of this.”
While I believe Dahl is right, if my children thought they needed to revise a story one hundred and fifty times to produce good writing, they’d never pick up a pencil again. But if not one hundred and fifty times, then how many?
How many times should our child retake a test, re-do an assignment, rework math problems, or revise their writing? Should they do their best the first time or be given as many times as it takes to get it right?
Depending on whom you talk to, the answer varies. If you believe, as I do, the point of an assessment is to see what the student retained so they can continue to build skills and learn, then like me, you believe revision is essential. But revision can feel like a punishment. A redo can be synonymous with failure. I wonder if instead of asking how many times my child should revise, we ask, how can I help my child see revision as part of the learning process.
Before we ask a child to retake a test or re-do a worksheet, we need to make sure the assessment genuinely captured what we hoped to assess. A child who struggles with test taking may be able to answer the test questions correctly when they are asked orally. Instead of assessing what a child knows about World War I (your goal), the test could be assessing their test-taking, reading, or writing skills. A child who struggles with sitting still or following directions might struggle with workbooks. Is a blank page an assessment of what they know, or how they are being asked to show what they know?
Once we know what our child needs to learn, it’s important we, too, embrace revision. We have to check in with ourselves. Do we want our child to hurry up and get something done so we can mark it off of the Instructor’s Guide, regardless of the outcome? Here are five ways we can all see the importance of revision and help our children find success.
1. Focus on a Growth Mindset
Revision is part of the learning process. It is not the final step, nor is it a means to perfection. There is no end point when it comes to learning. The more we practice and dig into a skill, the more we deepen our knowledge.
Assessments given without the chance for revision can offer students the idea that their learning has an end.
They get an A+, the skill is mastered, and it’s time to move on.
Learning is not a race. Homeschooling allows us to slow down and offer our children plenty of time to make sure learning happens. We can slow down our curriculum. We can pause and come back when our child is ready, break down skills into smaller parts, and take our time.
3. Help Kids Practice Skills in a Variety of Ways
Drilling kids or using a method that isn’t working over and over will only lead to frustration. Once you identify a skill your child needs to work on, use a variety of ways to help them practice. If your child needs to work on fractions, cook something together. Play games where they practice multiplication, spelling, and grammar. Approach the learning from different angles, use multimedia, and apply hands-on methods. The more fun and engaging learning is the more it will stick.
4. It’s Okay to Practice One Skill At a Time
While revising an essay by hand allows a child to practice handwriting and writing at the same time, doing so over and over could lead them to hate revision, handwriting, or both. Computers make revision a lot less painful. Once they get their writing just the way it needs to be, they can always copy it or something else to practice their handwriting.
5. There Are Many Ways to Revise
Revision doesn’t have to look like red pen marks and rewriting the same paragraph over and over. It shouldn’t feel like a punishment. If a child is struggling with organizing their writing, have them cut up their paragraphs and sentences and revise by rearranging them in a more cohesive manner. Do a scavenger hunt with their writing and have them first find all the capitalization errors. Another time look for the spelling errors or missing periods. Give them fun pens and let them grade themselves.
You don’t have to even call it revision. We’re just continuing to learn.
When we help our children embrace a growth mindset, offer plenty of time to learn and practice a skill, make sure the assessment is measuring what needs to be assessed, practice one skill at a time, and use revision as tool instead something that feels tedious or like a punishment, the number of times something takes doesn’t matter. What matters is learning happens, the child finds success, and the child is motivated to keep learning.
About the Author
Kelly left teaching middle and high school English to homeschool her children and reclaim how she and her family spent their time. Followers of interest-led learning, her family’s days rarely look the same, but they tend to include a lot of books, art supplies, and time outside.
Kelly facilitates local writing circles for women and children and blogs about nurturing the love of learning on her blog, Curiosity Encouraged. She loves to journal, read memoirs, hike, and travel. She seeks quiet mornings and good coffee daily.
When I started homeschooling many years ago, one of my main goals was to raise readers. As an avid reader myself, I’ve always understood the value of reading. It expands our vocabulary, teaches us, ignites our imagination, challenges us, transports us to amazing worlds, and so much more.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to teach my girls everything, but if they could read well and enjoyed the process, they would be able to learn anything they wanted to. So I did whatever I could to make reading exciting and accessible. Here are ways to nudge your child toward becoming a lifelong reader.
Create a Book Loving Home
First, it’s important that our children know that we, as parents, think books are important. In our home, we have multiple bookshelves that are filled with a variety of books. Our Kindle ereaders get frequent attention. Library trips were (and still are) frequent and positive. We invest in a literature-rich homeschool curriculum.
My husband and I read regularly, so our kids see us getting caught up in stories and hear us discuss what we’re reading. Remember that our kids tend to value what we value.
What if you’ve done all you can think of and your child still doesn’t like to read? It’s time to ask yourself some questions.
Could your child have a learning disability, like dyslexia, that makes reading hard for him? Sure, we should all challenge ourselves by reading difficult books, but every time we pick up a story, it shouldn’t be a chore.
We’re lucky that today, more than ever, there’s help available for those who have trouble reading. If this is an issue for your child, I would encourage you to seek assistance instead of deciding that he’s just never going to be a good reader.
Is your child a slow reader? Sometimes, especially with longer books, it’s hard to keep motivated when it seems to take forever to finish. Is he slow because he’s having trouble focusing? Is the story or vocabulary too challenging?
Think about what can be done to break down any barriers for him. Reading isn’t a race, but see if you can help him pick up his pace, so he doesn’t get frustrated or lose interest while reading.
Does she find the books she is reading boring? Do you let her choose her own books or is she regularly assigned reading material? Maybe she just hasn’t found the right subject to ignite her passion.
Sure, children have to read books for school, even if they find them boring. Just make sure that you’re encouraging her to read for pleasure as well.
4 More Tips for Turning a Non-Reader into a Reader
If the act of reading is challenging for your child, turn to audio books. By listening to books, instead of reading them, they can still develop the passion for the stories without having to struggle.
Introduce your child to a wide variety of books. Encourage her to explore the various genres and topics to find one that excites her. Make up a list and each time you go to the library, have her choose one or two different types. You both might be surprised by what grabs her attention!
Make sure your child is reading books that are at the right level for him. Books that are too hard or too easy can turn off a child’s interest. Challenge him to move up his reading material as he grows, but don’t jump so far ahead that every page is difficult for him to understand.
Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that homeschooling or following any of these tips will raise a reader. However, instead of throwing in the towel claiming, “my child’s just not a reader,” persevere in your efforts to turn your non-reader into a reader. Some readers bloom later than others! And your investment may pay off in years to come.
About the Author
Megan Zechman is a veteran homeschool mom of two girls. Over at Education Possible, she shares creative, hands-on learning activities for middle school.
