When I first started explored the possibility of homeschooling, I resisted.
Hard.
I thought of dozens of reasons why I couldn’t, why I shouldn’t. I insisted. I protested.
And, as you can probably guess, I eventually accepted that homeschooling was the best option for my son.
One of my chief concerns was that I valued my relationship with my son too much to homeschool him. I was convinced that spending so very much time with him would result in us growing tired of one another.
We already had battles and emotionally charged moments, and I feared that being the person to constantly force school assignments he didn’t want to do would mean butting heads even more. I worried
that he would see me as a strict teacher and not his loving mom
that lines would blur as our roles shifted
that what was already unsteady would become unsustainable
I’m very happy that I was so very wrong.
The relationship between my son and I has grown stronger than I ever could have imagined as I’ve watched him heal, grow, learn, and thrive. I’ve gotten to know wonderful parts of his personality that I would have missed otherwise. And I have been privileged to help polish the rougher parts that always seemed to rub the wrong way before.
While we’ve grown closer and found our groove in homeschooling, I’ve stumbled a few times. Through my experiences, I’ve discovered a few temptations that absolutely have the potential to damage our relationship. Here’s what I avoid to keep from ruining my relationship with my homeschooled child.
1. Too Much Review
Most curriculum works in a spiral format. It reviews previous material while introducing new information in an attempt to keep facts and formulas fresh. This isn’t necessarily a bad format, but there comes a point when reviewing can become excessive.
While learning about the state capitals, I decided to take every opportunity to quiz and review my son
while driving in the car
sitting at dinner
during commercial breaks
This was just too much. Instead of keeping facts fresh, I was negating opportunities for casual conversation and was trading connection for repetition. The freedom and peace that we enjoy in our homeschool, the chance to learn at a pace we’re comfortable with, was replaced with drills and expectations.
He wasn’t learning the capitals anymore; he was being beaten over the head with them!
What if you devote all of this time and energy into a lesson for it to go in one ear and out the other? At the end of the day, your goal as a homeschool parent isn’t to create a recording of everything taught. It’s to inspire a love of learning in your child and to forge a relationship with them in the most intimate of settings.
What your child learns is important, of course, but conversation with your kiddo is usually sufficient to get a feel for what they’ve soaked up. Be their parent, not their drill sergeant. Sit next to them and learn together; don’t ask them to recite for you.
2. Trying to Replicate What Everyone Else is Doing
It’s tempting. So tempting.
You see detailed lessons and colorful nature journals or organized homeschool rooms and a curriculum that just works so perfectly for this family or that one. Your friend cannot get her homeschool day started without morning time and your sister’s schedule is so precise that you could set your watch by it.
Seeing how well other families are doing, it’s easy to begin to wonder if maybe you should try it, too. Maybe if you tried that curriculum your child wouldn’t struggle with spelling. If you had a dedicated homeschool room, you might be a better homeschool parent. And what about what they’re doing at the public school down the street? You heard that they’re doing this experiment and reading that book, so does it say something about you that you’re not?
Attempting to replicate what works for one family can cause you to forget (or even ignore) what works for your own. By shadowing someone else’s footsteps you rob your child of the chance to forge their own path. You create a box that you were never meant to fit inside of, and the relationship between yourself and your child suffers as you both struggle against its confines.
You, the homeschool parent, have the opportunity to meet your child where they are in every area of their life, to fine-tune and customize their education in a loving and thoughtful way. Your lesson plans can be seen as love letters to your child, the result of your dedication and devotion to what’s best for them. Be the homeschool parent that your family needs, not the one you see succeeding elsewhere.
3. Comparing. To Anyone.
In the same vein as attempting to replicate someone else’s homeschool comes the temptation to compare:
Your slow mornings with someone else’s early rising.
Your child to someone else’s.
Or yourself to another parent.
Or yourself to a homeschool philosophy.
Your tattered books to someone else’s laminated worksheets.
Any time you begin to compare yourself or your situation to another, you invite the idea that you are not good enough. Any time you compare your child’s academic performance to that of another, you invite the idea that one is better than the other. Any time you begin to notice a deficit or weakness in your home because it’s a strength in someone else’s, you are walking a dangerous line that can too easily leave you disillusioned, dissatisfied, and dismissive of the unique needs in your own homeschool.
It’s not hard to see how comparison can ruin your relationship with your child, but it’s worth reminding yourself, as often as you need to, that it is a path towards bitterness, not betterment.
4. Resenting Your Commitment to Homeschool
I know, it seems obvious. Resenting homeschooling is obviously a no-brainer when it comes to how you could possibly ruin your relationship with your child. What’s not so obvious, however, is how we come to resent it.
Maybe you’re always having to turn down invitations to lunch with friends. Maybe you’re struggling financially and could really benefit from a second income you’re forfeiting to homeschool. Maybe you’re just having a hard day.
Little thoughts creep in and say, “If only I weren’t homeschooling, I could really…” The seed is planted, and the resentment grows.
Now instead of recognizing homeschooling as a privilege, you see it as a prison, a necessity, an obligation. Your child has become a pair of shackles instead of a partner in learning.
A decision made to bring freedom to your family can quickly convert to feelings of resentment, bitterness, offense, and displeasure. Where your relationship with your child was once a cornerstone of your homeschool, it is now a duty, a task, a chore, suffering under the illusion of obligation.
You get to homeschool! You get to share this time with your children! You get to hand-pick their education and provide them with all the love, enchantment, and opportunities they can handle. Homeschooling is a privilege, but the moment you start to see it as an obligation you begin to damage the relationship you have with your child. Suddenly they are to blame, and your reason for homeschooling becomes an excuse for your unhappiness.
There are many, many ways to ruin your relationship with your homeschooled child, but none of them are caused by actually homeschooling.
Our expectations, our ideas, our own boxes that we build and expect our children to fit into—theseare the breeding grounds for relational damage. When it comes down to it, these situations and feelings can be just as damaging in any setting. As a homeschooling parent, though, you find yourself spending more time with your children than most parents do, which creates more opportunities for these little seeds to sprout.
Really the greatest way to ruin your relationship with your homeschooled child, with any child, is to become lax in examining your own heart and motivations. By guarding yourself against feelings of bitterness or insecurity, you protect your child and your relationship.
About the Author
Jennifer Vail proudly lives in the great state of Texas with her very handsome husband and three very funny children. All three kids are educated in three very different ways according to their very different needs, which is exhausting but fulfilling. Jen’s hobbies include naps, 90’s pop culture, Netflix binges, buying books with the best of intentions to read them all, photography, and extroverting. She holds a degree in counseling but has found her calling by writing for and spending time with families of differently-wired, outlier kids—the square pegs of the round world.
She stays up way too late and drinks way too much caffeine, but has no intention of changing either. She is the community manager and contributing author at Raising Lifelong Learners where she writes about homeschooling gifted, anxious, and otherwise different kiddos, but also rambles at This Undeserved Life from time to time. She feels compelled to mention that she still very much loves the Backstreet Boys and rarely folds her laundry.
Homeschooling has challenges, finding support shouldn’t to be one of them. Support can help us when the homeschool day proves particularly tough. If you find yourself in an environment where you don’t have support, create your own! Join Janna as she chats with Laura, a mother who homeschools in Europe. Listen in Laura discusses the challenges and joys of homeschooling and how she now shares her knowledge through her blog, Monkeyandmom.com.
ABOUT OUR GUEST | Laura is a homeschooling mom from Europe and the creator of the blog Monkey And Mom. Laura has been homeschooling her son, Marc, for 7 years, delving deep into the world of STEM for gifted learners. Her journey has been one of discovery and dedication, blending nurturing, patience, and a flexible, creative approach to education. Through her blog, Laura shares an eclectic mix of homeschooling tips, resources, and fun printables, all born from her hands-on experience. Whether you’re a parent to an only child, a homeschooler looking for fresh ideas, or just beginning your homeschooling journey, Laura’s insights are sure to inspire and guide. She’s here to share her wealth of knowledge and experiences, providing valuable resources and encouragement for fellow homeschoolers.
Janna 0:04 Welcome to Homeschool your way I’m your host Janna Koch and BookSharks Community Manager. Today I am joined by Laura from MonkeyandMom. She is a homeschool mom from Europe who is the creator of the blog, monkeyandmom, Laura has been homeschooling her son Mark for seven years delving deep into the world of STEM for gifted learners. This episode is going to open your eyes to the idea of schooling outside of your comfort zone. Laura is going to tell us her story. And I’m so excited for her to share. Let’s bring her in. Laura, thanks so much for being here.
Laura 1:10 Thank you for having me.
Janna 1:13 I am so excited for you to share your story. I know that BookShark is used internationally, I would say my exposure to the families who use BookShark are either in the US or US families who live overseas, you are neither of those things. You are a family that lives overseas that was born and raised. And so you are choosing to use an American curriculum like BookShark, and then creating this blog and these amazing videos on your YouTube channel, which we will make sure to link in the notes for those who are listening. But let’s start from the beginning. Why don’t you just introduce yourself and then we’ll get going into why you chose to homeschool in the country that you live.
Laura 2:00 Hi, I’m Laura and I’m a blogger at monkey and mom. I homeschool an only child, currently seventh grade and we are a eclectic home schooler. So we choose and pick whatever works for us. But we like balancing academics and child led learning. My son is gifted in STEM and he is my opposite in every way. So that made for an adventure in homeschooling like we never have a dull moment.
Janna 2:30 So why don’t you tell us what country you have your country of origin, maybe other countries that you lived in, and then we’ll kind of get into the history of homeschooling in the country that you’re currently in.
Laura 2:44 Sure, we are homeschooling in Romania. And we’ve been living in Romania and India for several years. So homeschooling here doesn’t really have any regulation. We don’t have any rules to tell us what to do and how to do it. It’s not legalized, I hate using that word. But that’s the truth. So we homeschool under the law that says that parents here can choose their school. So parents can choose the school outside Romania. So that’s why we had to choose an umbrella or distance school to homeschool because in Romania distance schools are illegal. So we had two options when we chose, we could go the UK route or the US Route. So we chose us because I feel that US provides us with more options, there are more options. When it comes to curriculum, there are more publishers who cater to homeschoolers like BookShark. And I also feel that the exams are easier, because we will go the AP route and SAP route and I feel that with the AP, you can choose whatever passion to have and just go to those exams, you aren’t forced to go through standardized tests, like if I can call it that. So homeschooling here isn’t popular. And I think it’s mainly because it’s, you have to do it in English, you have to do it in the language of the school that you chose. So lots of parents fear that and it’s a real fear, it’s hard. And also, there’s no real community. Like you can’t really find a lot of information on how to do it correctly. The authorities and people in general have a lot of misconceptions around it. And you can really feel shunned, you know, like you are going against the grain you’re doing something that hasn’t been done and everyone looks weird. Like why did you choose that? And also, I feel people don’t choose it because there’s not a smooth say Dealing between homeschooling and public school. Like I know in us, you can easily go between them switch and whatever suits you. But for us when we do it, it’s like a long term commitment. You cannot really go one year homeschooling one year public school and the back again, because a lot of schools here because of misconceptions and everything they can make you see through exams, for every single subject every single year, you haven’t been enrolled in a public school here. So that’s a lot. And you really have to ponder and like take this decision, this decision is not taken lightly, you know, here, so I feel like we have a small community, but it’s growing and becoming more confident, and I hope it will be fine in the years to come.
Janna 5:47 Your decision to choose a US based on brella school, you said was kind of based on the not only the academics, but also availability, but the language. So would you say there is a high percentage of Romanians that speak English? Or is that a language that isn’t necessarily spoken a lot in your country?
Laura 6:07 Well, we don’t have English as an official language. So no, it’s not that prevalent. It’s one of the languages spoken here by some people, but not a large percentage of them. But if you want to homeschool don’t really have a lot of options. Because even if you look at other languages in Europe, homeschooling is pretty much illegal. Like in Germany, you can get in jail into jail, if you homeschool your kids. There are other countries who have strict regulations like France, where you need to see through their national exams, like every two years, and they are becoming increasingly stricter. So even UK started changing and modifying their laws. So there’s not many options you have when it comes to choosing an umbrella school. Most of them are English. So English is a must learn language. But I also feel like at the same time, it was something I wanted from the beginning, you know, because I thought if my son will learn, like, we’ll finish all his school in English, and we’ll have this plus to his portfolio that he knows how to speak English. And he’s currently beneath and he finished, he has diplomas in English, then he will have doors opening for him, like he’ll have access to all the international universities and he won’t have to go to the stress of learning English, you know, as a second language, and getting ready for both the exams here. I mean, in the in the LSAT or whatever entrance exams he had to take, if you wanted to go outside to a university. So there are more benefits to English. And I keep telling people here also that it’s not only this, you also have a lot of resources in English that aren’t there in other languages. So I keep encouraging people even if don’t go the homeschooling route, you can opt to teach your kids English when they are later. So when they start school, you can just grab anything like they want to learn chemistry at seventh like minded. There’s a curriculum for that, you know, but it’s in English.
Janna 8:25 Yeah. So did you learn English as a child? Or was that something that you made a decision as an adult to learn?
Laura 8:31 No, I actually learned English during high school. English is my third language. So during high school, we had like two hours of English per week. And that’s where they started learning English. But most of it I learned when I took when I had my son, I took the decision to read in English and teach him as much English as I knew. Because that you know, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the one parent, one language and all those, like, you know more languages in their family, one parent can speak one language, the other parent can speak the other language and the kid was picked both. But I was like, Why aren’t all the languages because I’ve been both Romanian and English with him. And now he’s better than me, obviously. But while I was teaching him when he was little, I just looked to better myself. And I did through listening to audiobooks through reading all in English. I just switched everything to English. And it was so difficult at first, but then you start seeing it pay off. And I’m telling the parents that come to me also, Romanian parents that just try to create an environment where English is present everywhere, even for your kids and that really helped them. You don’t even realize when it’s happening. Just start speaking with them like when you play or when you prepare food or like make them Listen to it and use it in your family. And you will see it’s not that difficult.
Janna 10:06 I think one of the major advantages for you as a parent who is choosing to homeschool is that you have a love of learning. And I know that we as parents, when we model that for our children, it is the best type of learning, right? When we’re, we’re demonstrating that it matters to us. We’re passionate about it. It’s contagious. And I think whether it’s Romanian families learning English, or it’s English speaking families, learning Romanian, like, we have these amazing capabilities, if we’re willing to put aside our own fears, and, and just kind of jump into the deep end, knowing that there’s no way we can drown, you know, like metaphorically, because we’re not even in water. So sometimes we just, we just have to try. Now, you weren’t going to homeschool your son, from the beginning, you decided to try your local school district. And I would love for you to share that story. Because I think it’s really impactful to your journey.
Laura 11:08 Oh, yeah, he actually just tried school for a few days. And I immediately knew it wasn’t for us, like the environment. And also, I’m sorry to say this, but like the level we live in a small area. So maybe that’s why but I felt like the overall level of his peers didn’t match his and here, we don’t have that differentiation you have in us, I think you have classes for gifted kids or accelerated learning. We don’t have that here. Like everyone, the same age is put together and they all have to kind of be at the same level. I even spoke with his teacher and she said, Well, you taught him too much. And when I heard that, you know, like, that’s not normal. How can you teach someone to? You’re always learning, you know, and that you said that I was an example for him with learning goals. And I think that’s essential for all parents to show their kids, that learning never stops, you always learn you can learn as an adult, and maybe you don’t know everything, they also have to see that that adults aren’t always right. They don’t always know everything. I think those are the things I really wanted to instill in him and also encourage that natural curiosity that kids have. I didn’t feel that the schools here would help with that. In fact, I felt that that was the first thing they would crash. Because if you go to a child that’s curious and asking the question, and you tell him, Oh, you’re too little. Now you can learn it in a few years. You know, it’s not the right moment. Or we don’t do that today. We’ll do it another time. That’s like a surefire way to just drown the curiosity and belittle their curiosity because you say it’s not important enough for us to do it now. And that’s what I felt the school did here. And I didn’t realize it at the time. I just went home crying, because I felt something wasn’t right, you know. And then I’m so glad I just went ahead and listen to my instincts. Because eight years later, I can say it worked. But back then it was so scary. Like I didn’t know anything about homeschooling back then it wasn’t even in my mind. And then I discovered this homeschooler one local home schooler who was posted in English on her blog. It was called my English homeschool. And I contacted her and I asked her how to do all this and she started telling me about homeschooling and how to do it in Romania. And like that really opened my eyes and opened the gates floodgates, because after that, I started researching a lot. And I created my own communities on Facebook, and I just wanted to be an example for everyone that came behind. Like I wanted them to find the information I couldn’t find when I was looking for it. So yeah, the reason we homeschool basically was we wanted something better for our son.
Janna 15:21 I am really encouraged by your statement that you just felt like something wasn’t right. Like it. Typically, as humans, we go with the flow. We don’t like to go against the grain. It’s uncomfortable. And we’re we’re pioneers and something that we didn’t necessarily want to be a pioneer in. But there’s just that gut feeling that we can choose a different way. And I think that a lot of homeschool parents feel that way. Like, I may not know what I’m doing. But I know that I’m supposed to be doing something different than what’s being offered to me. And I don’t want to say the easy way because public school, private school charter schooling, each has their own place and challenges, right parenting is a gigantic challenge in and of itself. But I think listening to that sixth sense that we have as parents that we do know what’s best for our kids. And when we go to what we think are the authorities on it, and they they’re dismissive of us that’s like, we could go okay, well, maybe it’s just in my mind, maybe I’m just overreacting, you know, I should just like you could have just said, Well, I’ll just send them and see what happens. It’s like we have to be advocates for our children. And I think that it’s it’s a lot easier said than done. Because when you’re challenging the establishment, it does feel like David and Goliath, right? Like, I can’t do this.
Laura 16:54 And it’s not even that, like we also face challenges from our own families. Like even my own mom said that I’m destroying his future. What am I doing? This is not what people usually do, like who are you to go against everything, you know, and that’s something that parents here face. I think even in the US, there’s, it’s like, even with a rich history of homeschooling, you still have this problem. So here, it’s even more because even I had a lady write to me and saying that I’m so excited to start Homeschooling with my six year old and then in a few days, she was like, my husband has a degree. So I was like, I know exactly what she’s been through, because I had to fight my whole family to be able to do this. But I was so convinced in that instance, that this is the way we should go that I was willing to fight for it. And I’m happy I did.
Janna 17:51 When you have such a strong conviction about something, I think that is like the first stepping stone to fight because if you’re unsure and you’re wishy washy, then the first sign of resistance either a partner is very hard when your partner is not aligned with your passion, it can be very difficult to persuade. But beyond that is if you two can get on the same page, which to me is the biggest thing, but you know, then your surrounding family. It’s like when people start to poke holes in your plan, it feels, you just start to feel like you’re sinking. But when you have such a strong conviction that it’s like, I don’t have the answers to what you’re saying. Yeah, maybe I am making the wrong decision. But the only way to know is to try. And I, in our experience. I didn’t want to homeschool our kids. I was like, No, that’s not what I want to do. And my husband, we always were like, first I was like, Maybe we should homeschool. He’s like, No, not a good idea. And then I was like, Okay, we shouldn’t homeschool. And then he was like, Maybe we should homeschool. And then so it’s like we had these different phases. And finally, we were both like, Okay, we’re going to homeschool. And then that just like solidified the decision. So was your partner always on the same page when you presented this out of the box education?
Laura 19:07 Actually, he wasn’t really he wasn’t really convinced me to to work. But I kind of told him that’s what I’m doing. So you have to roll with. And he was I think he was waiting like, okay, she will quit next year. You know, like this is becoming too difficult. And then if him and my family they started seeing the results, like oh, she managed to make him read and now he can do math also and oh, he even has a diploma from the umbrella school. So maybe it’s not so bad. And then as the years progressed and they saw his growth, like my son’s growth, they kind of like we’re okay with it. My mom still brings it up sometimes. She would say like, Are you sure? Like I You’re sure he can go to college after nice where he has Have like paperwork that’s accepted. Do you know what you’re doing? And all those kinds of questions, like, you know, she sees that he’s advanced in math and chemistry. And they were worried like, what will you do? Because he’s like ahead of you. So yeah, we found on tutors online, we found online classes self paced, because he doesn’t like, once, and he’s doing great, he keeps growing. That’s what’s important to me to see him happy, both emotionally and otherwise. And to see him grow academically, though those were my goals. And I see I’m reaching them year by year.
Janna 20:39 And really, I mean, it’s like the proof is in the growth, right? It’s one of these things that it’s like, I can’t prove to you that this is a good choice. But I can only demonstrate, and the only way I can do that is by trying it. So let’s, let’s give it a go. And there are parents, especially during the pandemic, who started homeschooling, who saw the benefits, sometimes not immediately, and you know, we all have our ups and downs, right? We have good days and bad days, and both us and our children. But then, for whatever circumstances, they couldn’t continue, you know, things open back up, and it just wasn’t a possibility. And then there was other families who thought for sure, they would go right back into the brick and mortar schools. But after they had been out and been doing homeschool, they were like, This is amazing. Why didn’t we try this earlier? And so it’s one of those things that like, you just don’t know what you don’t know. And the only way to know is to do and there’s like, again, there’s fear in that right, like, but there’s also comfort in the fact that like I no amount of me talking is going to prove to you what I’m trying to prove like, you just have to trust me. And that was the thing to like, we tell a lot of people just try set aside a year, and then see and then reevaluate. And if it’s not, if it’s not for you, it’s not working, you know, and in the US, because we can, in most states seamlessly go from one to another, with very little friction. It’s like you could even do semester, just try for a semester and half the year and see how it goes. So yeah, it really, but all the things that you’re saying that you feel and have experienced? I think those are global, I don’t think that is, you know, isolated to homeschooling out of the United States, I think that is just homeschooling in general, because we’re constantly really crossing our fingers that we made the right decision for our children.
Laura 22:36 Yeah, it’s true. Like even now, as he approaches the high school years, you know, the Fears are growing. Am I doing enough? is doing enough? Like, you know, that the homeschool schedule is less than the hours they spend in public school? So should we do more hours? Should we do extra action with them? You know, those are doubts, and they will always creeping, but I think they are a sign that you’re doing the right thing. I think when you start questioning what you are doing, you’re really thinking about it and assessing it and I tell the parents who reach to me that, like it’s okay to doubt yourself. It’s okay to keep asking yourself if this is okay, if it works fine, because you should constantly see if you need to change anything. And there is no way to do that. If you don’t care. If you say no, it’s fine, it will turn out okay. No matter what I do, I think that’s where the danger lies when you stop thinking or you never think from the beginning that you should really give your best, you know, homeschooling is not easy. And I tell that to everyone. It’s not an easy decision. And it’s not an easy thing to do. Because you’re sacrificing so much as a parent. Also, it’s way easier to ship them to school, especially in some cases. And also it’s not for everyone. I know that people say, Oh, just homeschool because it’s so easy. But the truth is, some kids do better in public school. And some parents cannot take the role of a teacher or facilitator I can say because you don’t always have to be the teacher. You can choose materials and people from outside, but you still need to be involved invested in it. And some parents just cannot do it and it’s fine. Their kids will be happier in other settings. I think the main thing here is to just do what’s best for your family, for your kids and for yourself.
Janna 24:38 Now talking about one of the biggest decision makers after you’ve decided to homeschool is finding a good fit of curriculum and where you’re going to go. And so, your story you kind of reverse engineered the fact that you were looking at the end goal that you knew you wanted some kind of college Just degree for your son. And you you obviously saw right away that that was something he could accomplish. And you know, he was gifted in that. So you had the end in mind. So you kind of worked backwards and kind of tell us that process like how you narrowed it down and came to your decision and what you choose to use.
Laura 25:21 So I wanted him to like be achieving academically, but I also wanted him to preserve that curiosity and love for learning. Like I wanted him to be a lifelong learner. My end goal is not really that diploma and goal is for him to always learn, always be curious, like, I think that’s real happiness when you can find happiness in what you do, because you love it, and you’re curious about it. So, because of that, I, I ended up being eclectic, I didn’t start with the eclectic homeschooling because I thought it’s so difficult to just go. And there are so many curricula, and how do I choose the perfect lead up doing it anyway, and it was great. I think balancing that is the secret sauce here. For example, we do teach art and math, those are non negotiables. And I think it’s universally available, because no matter where you go, and what you do, these are the two things you should know you. But for the rest of them, I kind of let Him lead. I saw he has a passion for sciences and stem in general and early on. So that was our third choice. So we have language arts, math, and then his passion, which is science. So it’s pretty easy to go from there and choose curriculum. And we always prioritize them that way. So my resources and my effort efforts go more into choosing these three for him. And then there is come at the back.
Janna 26:54 I think that is unique, because I think most parents don’t look at it that necessarily that way, I think we’re so ingrained to think that it has to be, you know, these core subjects and it has to be in this order. And but you know, we really can, the point of a child led learning is to focus on what your kids are really interested in. And there’s, like you said, always non negotiables, but, but really help that process and encourage them to help you make that decision once they become capable. As they get older, because they’re going to they’re going to be the ones doing it, they probably should enjoy it too. Right. And you shouldn’t be you just hope.
Laura 27:41 Sorry. That I feel that he will continuously discovered things he’s interested in. And sometimes he’ll discover them because I am the one planning resources and exposing him to things. So as we go through a planned curriculum, we’ll stop at I don’t know we did from bookshop this year, about the Romans, you know, and then we ended up with Roman numerals. But how do you say 1 million in Roman numerals and all those things he likes going down these rabbit holes. And I think homeschooling the way we do it. Flexible and eclectic just allows us. Okay, we have pause, everything we were doing for today. Let’s go and find out more about Roman numerals. And he ended up printing pages from the internet with all the Roman numerals. And then he actually learned them so well that he started writing his own novel. And he hates writing. But he chose to put the pages in Roman numerals. So now he can read Roman numerals from monuments everything. It wasn’t something I planned to do. But this is how child led learning works, especially if you balance it because many times parents think that if you choose one style or one way you have to do it 100% You know if I want to go Child learning, I just have to do whatever the child wants every single day. And it’s not that I think eclectic homeschooling showed us that you can just blend and mix and do whatever percentage you want to just make it work and to see your child grow and grow and love to learn.
Janna 29:25 So would you say that your passion behind homeschool are the one of the reasons you love it is because you do see your son just blossoming. In all of these areas. The fact that you literally just said he doesn’t like to write but he’s writing a novel like that’s a huge win.
Laura 29:44 Yeah, it is. And we had a lot of adventures, especially when I was like a new home schooler. I had no idea what I was doing. We went with a box curriculum for the first two years and they did everything to a tee from me I realized it’s so much like public school, and we kind of both of us hated it. We went through it, but it was great. And then I really sat down. And I looked at it. I said, Okay, what is it with this curriculum, that doesn’t work? Because I knew there were parts that work. And I realized there were two main things. One was that some of the subjects or, like, busy work, they were repetitive, and he didn’t need that, because that’s the way he learned. And some of them weren’t sufficiently developed, you know, for writing, in particular, I felt that his tempering didn’t work doing. And even I wasn’t capable to explain writing, like composition, writing, you know, creative writing to him. So I said, I didn’t even know what to look for. I didn’t know what I needed, what he needed. So I sat down, I thought it through logically like what kind of curriculum would fit a logical brain. And I said, he needs something step by step, he needs something broken down, he needs like a list of things that he has to do for every single composition. So he knows what. And I found the curriculum. Finally, it was so amazing, I didn’t see immediate results like we are in the second year using it. And I finally see him take initiative in writing. And that has been amazing. Like, I cannot believe it. That also helped me because being a writer, and I love writing, and I love it so much that I sometimes go overboard with my blog posts, I write too. But I have this defect. Like, I feel like correcting his work from my point of view. And I go, like, writing is super personal. And you can’t, you cannot go there and say, Oh, I don’t agree with your idea. And I know that that’s a very touchy subject with a lot of homeschool moms, and maybe even teachers, I don’t know, all the rubrics, I just cannot correct it. So I decided to Okay, writing will be outsourced. I won’t do it. He’s doing it with videos. And I just have a checklist. And if he follows the form, I’m not looking at the ideas or the way he presented them, if he follows all the requirements, like a form of the essay, or whatever he’s writing, he gets full points. And that has been amazing for us. Like it encouraged him. And now he’s even writing his own novel. I don’t know how many hundreds of pages. It’s some sci fi thing. Hopefully, he likes.
Janna 32:50 Oh, that’s really exciting. We do have a podcast with a English tutoring company that has a publishing site. So I will definitely get you the link to that. So it might be something that he could actually publish and let other children his age read in the United States is kind of an interesting concept.
Laura 33:12 Interesting.
Janna 33:14 Yeah, I agree. I never wanted, I never graded my girls writing. I just read through it. Because I’m the same way. I’m an English major, I have an editing brain. I want to fix what’s not right, I want to change the word around so it’s more clear. And it was hurtful to them. I found that very early on, it was like, Why are you picking that apart? Why? Because it is so personal. And so I stopped grading and I thought, well, when you go on to higher learning somebody, you’re gonna have to accept criticism from somebody, but it’s just not going to be me because I didn’t want to break that part of our relationship. And both of my older two daughters, they were able to take college classes as freshmen, sophomore in high school. And all they needed was some of that guidance in like the mechanics of it, but they had no problem with the writing. And they love to write and I had a daughter who wrote a novel, too. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, I’m just blown away. I could never imagine writing, having a consistent storyline for that many pages. So. So yeah, it’s beautiful when we see those things happening, and I love that you just trusted the process. You know, it took two years. And part of that could have been the curriculum. Part of it could have been his brain development proud part of it could have just been he finally found something he wanted to write about. I mean, there’s so many different factors that I think homeschool parents get caught up in the product when really we need to just trust the process. And that again, is one of those hard asks because you’re saying well, keep going it might take a couple years you’ll get there and we are so we were immediate results driven. So it’s harder, I think for us to be like okay, it’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna work and and fingers crossed that it does. Laura in closing Do you have a homeschool hack you can share with our listeners.
Laura 35:04 In fact, I have more like, more like three. So far one of them. And the first one one that helped us a lot since the beginning. And I’m so happy and discovered it is the growth mindset. I don’t think it’s spoken of so much in the homeschooling community. But it’s so important to because you also mentioned that your daughters didn’t like to be criticized and such. So I feel the growth mindset really helps with that, and it helped my son because he’s accepting criticism in stride. Now, it helps you think differently about mistakes, it helps them see that through mistakes, you are actually learning and growing. And it’s not something that you know, you have to read a lot about, there are a few links on the internet and a few YouTube videos, you can watch, and you’ll get an idea of what you need to do. And one of our favorite quotes, which is growth mindset is all things are difficult before they are easy. And that’s what we have on our desk. And it helped him when he started reading also, because we use a curriculum that was not a good fit. And I didn’t know at the time, and he was actually crying to every lesson. And it took me a while to say okay, like, yeah, you trust the process. But up to some point, you know, like, I saw that it was working, and I kept pushing through, and then he ended up crying. So I said, Okay, this is not fine. We almost finished it. And then I just switched completely. But he remained with that reluctance in reading, you know, and the growth mindset really helped him there. And I told him, okay, just take it step by step, you know, let’s look behind you when you started speaking, because he was later I didn’t have any other example. It was very difficult for you, you know, but now you do it, you don’t even think about it. And this is what will happen with treadling. Also, you kept at you keep at it, you know, every day, a little by little, and in a few years, you won’t even think about it. And I was right, because now he’s an avid reader. He just loves reading. And that’s why book shark is so perfect for us. And the second hack is only compare yourself to yourself. I see this happen a lot, all over social media in all the Facebook groups, and we all fall into it sometimes. But you should remember that you shouldn’t compare your child to anyone else or your situation to anyone else. If you see growth, like six months ago, or one year ago, or two years ago, my key is on an upslope, then what you’re doing is perfect, keep doing it. If you don’t see that, then you should reassess and change things. And the third one is we already discussed about it. I think balancing academics and Child led is like the perfect way to, you know, grow curious individuals and individuals want to learn for life. And this happens only because homeschooling is so flexible.
Janna 38:14 Well, thank you those three, and they blend beautifully together. So I think I think that’s a full hack with a part A, B, and C. So thank you so much, Laura, I want to thank you for what you have contributed to the homeschool community, not only in your country, in your passion to help others kind of explore this alternative education, but also what you’re doing to encourage those of us on this side of the globe, because your blogs and you’re sharing your journey with you and your son has been an encouragement I know to our community as well. So thank you so much. And thank you for being here today.
Laura 38:53 Thank you for having me. It’s been so fun.
Many BookShark parents love to outsource some of the scheduled reading aloud to audiobooks. This hack gives them a bit more time, saves their voice, and even allows the entire family to enjoy the listening experience together while traveling or doing chores.
Another big use of audiobooks in homeschooling is by children who struggle with reading independently. Whether it’s due to dyslexia or just learning at a slower pace, these students benefit from hearing their Readers delivered in audiobook form.
Due to licensing challenges, BookShark itself does not provide audiobooks alongside its literature-based curriculum. But with a touch of resourcefulness, you can piece together what you need. Here are our recommendations to get you started with your search of audiobooks for BookShark.
1. Free Audiobooks
The apps below are available for free through most libraries. These three apps are always our first stop when hunting for a particular title in audiobook form. Much like a library book, you have a limited time to listen but can always renew. Check with your local library to see what’s provided with your membership or library card.
Sometimes there’s a new book out and we just can’t wait for it to be offered at our library. Or maybe we want the option of listening to a book over and over without having to return it. In that case, we need a paid subscription.
I also like the feature in these apps that allows students to choose if they want to read or be read to.
3. Ebook Readers
There are also a few apps that read ebooks to you. These options are wonderful if you’re looking to help your child become a fluent independent reader since your child can follow along visually with the audio.
Bookshare® According to its website “is available only for individuals who have a qualifying reading or perceptual disability, a visual impairment, or a physical disability that affects their ability to read printed works.”
My children both love audiobooks. Many a night they have fallen asleep listening to a favorite story. We also love to listen to books on car rides.
Some readers also do a better job understanding what they are reading when they can hear it. As a teacher who has taught many students with dyslexia and other learning differences, I found this to be true again and again. While younger students might enjoy being read aloud to, I’ve also found older students often like the autonomy an audiobook gives them.
Audiobooks do not have to replace the books in our homeschool curriculum, but they can be a wonderful addition, and for some students work even better than a physical book. Try using audiobooks in conjunction with your BookShark Readers or Read-Alouds or use audiobooks when you’re in the car. They make for a wonderful start and end to the day as well. Audiobooks encourage even more reading in our homeschool days! There are no drawbacks when it comes to more great books!
About the Author
Kelly left teaching middle and high school English to homeschool her children and reclaim how she and her family spent their time. Followers of interest-led learning, her family’s days rarely look the same, but they tend to include a lot of books, art supplies, and time outside.
Kelly facilitates local writing circles for women and children and blogs about nurturing the love of learning on her blog, Curiosity Encouraged. She loves to journal, read memoirs, hike, and travel. She seeks quiet mornings and good coffee daily.
There’s no doubt that there are very defined preferences among homeschoolers about whether or not to use secular and faith-neutral curriculum. I’ve heard these very pointed questions when it comes to evaluating curriculum:
Does that science book espouse creationism or evolution?
Does your history curriculum align with the Bible?
What is the worldview of that program?
We have chosen to homeschool for non-religious reasons, so the debate of whether or not to use secular curriculum is not difficult for us.
I choose our curriculum carefully. All year, I pour over catalogs and curriculum sites. I read reviews and constantly keep in check what we are using and whether or not it’s the best for each particular child. Whether or not a curricula contains Bible verses or spiritual references is not something I concern myself with on this job of choosing learning tools, and this is not to say that I am not a Christian (because I am). But I have several reasons for choosing secular curriculum.
There is a ton of great curriculum out there—both secular and religious-based.
Every year that I homeschool, it seems there’s more and more to choose from. I love choices though, and I consider being able to choose from a wide array of curricula and not being held to it by a school board as one of the very biggest perks to homeschooling. That said, I feel that I would be excluding a huge range of wonderful programs out there if I were to only look at religious-based curricula.
I’ve made a choice to homeschool my children which opens up a huge amount of freedom for me to choose what best fits my children and their very individual learning styles. Why would I close myself in by choosing only religious-based books?
Religious-based curriculum tends to leave out facts I want my kids to know about.
When it comes to certain subjects, there’s very little I shield my kids from. We watch the news together. We talk about current events. We carefully discuss politics and the issues at hand. One of our biggest jobs as parents is to prepare our kids for the big world out there, and I want to discuss this tough stuff while they are still at home with me.
I have found that some religion-based curriculum leaves out information about other religions or certain historical events, and this is not something I want for my kids. Discussing a wide array of religions is something that is very important in our family. We’ve had some amazing discussions around these topics, and I feel that if anything, the knowledge of other spiritual choices, makes my own faith stronger and it also gives myself and my children a better understanding of others and what they believe.
Subjects like grammar and spelling are not for instilling faith.
Can I just say that sometimes I think we just go overboard? We can be so afraid of the outside world infiltrating our homes and our children that we even try to incorporate our beliefs in our spelling books. I have a hard enough time getting my kids to enjoy grammar without trying to tie a Bible lesson into it. For subjects like this, I choose what’s best for my children, because I know that good grammar isn’t going to teach my child how to be a decent human being; it’s just going to teach her where to capitalize.
The bottom line for us is that we have choices. Secular curriculum has its place among those choices, so don’t automatically rule it out even if you are passing your faith to your children.
About the Author
Alicia Hutchinson is the homeschooling mom to four. She and her children love reading and history and exploring outside. They are just settling into their new home in the Minneapolis area, where they just relocated from North Carolina.
You can read more about Alicia and their homeschooling adventures, current projects, and thoughts on motherhood at her blog Investing Love.!
As homeschoolers, the idea of having children who can complete school lessons, projects, and assignments on their own can be enticing. Mom, who usually bears the burden of the homeschool planning and teaching, gets a break, and children take responsibility for their own education. Sounds like a win for both parties, right? Yes, but let’s delve into this idea of independent learning more deeply:
How do you know when your child is readyto learn on his own?
How much should you push your children towards working solo?
Exactly how do you train your kids to learn independently?
Is independent learning even possible?
Is It Really Possible for Children to Learn Independently?
Does independent learning really exist? The answer depends on how you define the term. All of us need to learn from someone or some kind of starting point of reference, so it’s not realistic to expect our kids to learn without any guidance at all. For example, the cornerstone of the BookShark curriculum is parent and child, learning together over great books. Sure, older kids can do their assignments and reading alone, but they would miss the insights from their parents that come from discussing the History and Literature. So consider what you and your kids lose when they learn on their own.
With that said, it is possible and wonderful to teach our children to take ownership of their education. In our family, the kids complete some of their homeschool assignments on their own, which—in my mind—qualifies as independent learning. For example, my oldest daughter does most of her lessons and quizzes herself while I help her review and prepare for testing. For our younger children, independent learning might include Read-Aloud sessions, worksheets, and simple crafts while the bulk of the learning is done alongside a parent.
When Can A Child Start to Learn on His Own?
Some early education methods, such as Montessori, encourage teaching children self-reliance at a young age. Others, such as unschooling, promote allowing a child time to develop his or her own educational interests.
Since children mature at different rates, there is no specific age when parents should begin to teach kids to work on their own. As parents, we know our children best. We know when they’re ready to move on to more advanced concepts, and we know what they’re capable of doing.
While it would be unrealistic to expect a very young child (grades K – 3) to learn solo, it could also stunt your child if you continue to hover when he’s ready for greater autonomy. In each family, parents have to assess their children’s abilities and skills to determine when they are ready to complete schoolwork on an independent basis. Trust your gut on this decision. You will know when the time is right and how much liberty to allow your kids. If you are unsure, ask them! They often know exactly what they need and can tell you how much support and direction to offer.
How to Help Kids Learn Independently
Children, like adults, need very little guidance or encouragement to do the things they like. Naturally, if our children enjoy what they are learning in school, they will develop the self-motivation to complete many of their assignments without much prodding or direction.
A good way to help kids become self-motivated is to allow them to have a say in their education. Let them choose a few of the books on the reading list this year. Or allow them to choose a few animals, places, or historical events to study.
For example, at the beginning of our school year, we make a list of all the things our kids would like to learn about. Then we try our best to work those topics into our lessons. When I announce that we’ll be covering one of those topics, the kids are so excited that they’re willing to do whatever assignment they’re given—even independently.
Another way to help kids learn to complete their schoolwork independently is to teach them to manage their time. Upper elementary and middle school grades are a wonderful time to start working on this skill. Start by giving kids to to lists to check off. Then give them blank weekly planners to fill in on their own and check off completed work.
As an example, our middle schooler, who has ADHD, is learning to create a weekly schedule for herself. She tries to complete all of her schoolwork in four days, so she can have an “off” day each week. Setting up her own routine has helped her develop the drive to get her assignments done on her own and on time.
As homeschoolers, we can make independent learning fit into our family’s educational goals, abilities, and grade levels. By giving our children a say in their education and helping them learn to manage their time, we can help them become independent learners for life.
About the Author
Selena is a homeschooling graduate and a veteran homeschooling mother of four, including three with ADHD. She and her husband, Jay, use an eclectic homeschooling approach to encourage their children to learn throughout their lives. Selena blogs about her family’s homeschooling adventures every week at Look! We’re Learning!
In our homeschool, my children constantly encounter new vocabulary words during their individual reading time or during BookShark lessons. My naturally curious kids are great about asking, “What does this word mean, Mom?” Typically I ask them to look it up using an online dictionary. But sometimes we use them our new words in one of these five fantastic vocabulary games.
1. Vocabulary Cube
This game requires a small bit of prep work. Make a large cube out of cardstock, the bottom of a milk carton, or the side of a cereal box.
When it’s time to play a vocabulary game for the week, write six new words the sides of the cube. If you apply clear contact paper to your cube, you can use a dry erase marker to write the words and then easily erase them for the next game.
Have your student roll the cube or throw it in the air and catch it. Whichever word he lands on is the word he has to define.
You can jazz up the game a bit by using a timer, having two kids compete to see who can get the most correct after so many tries or any other variables you can think of that would make the game more interesting such as acting out the word or using the word in a sentence.
2. Vocabulary Signs
This is a simple yet effective activity and works especially well for foreign language vocabulary.
Take a few index cards and write your vocabulary words on them. Then affix the cards in places where the words are within context. For example, if you are introducing the Spanish word for chair, you can write silla on the index card and tape it to a chair in the room. If the word is a verb, hang the card in an area where you would normally perform that action.
This activity is also great for early learning and lower grades, as they are increasing their word recognition skills. You could take this game up a notch by adding a spelling component to the activity. Have your child say the word, touch the object, then spell the word without looking at it.
3. Vocabulary Bingo
Vocabulary lends itself easily to this classic, low-prep game. All you need are bingo cards and chips. You can make cards yourself by drawing a grid with 25 squares. Leave the center square as a free space, and write vocabulary words in each of the remaining 24 spaces.
Give your child a set of chips (use beans, paper clips, or any small objects). Call out the definitions and have the child cover the words that match. When a player reaches five in a row (horizontally or vertically), they yell BINGO! To make it even more challenging, have the winner spell the vocabulary words in the winning row or use them in sentences.
4. Pictionary
This game works well with three or more players and a large collection of vocabulary words. First write your vocabulary words onto cards and give a stack of cards to each child. On each person’s turn, he selects a card from his deck and attempts to get the other players to guess his word based on what he draws on a marker board or chalk board. Using symbols, letters, or numbers is not permitted.
The first child to guess the word correctly scores a point. The child with the most points at the end of the round wins the game.
5. Charades
Similar to Pictionary, you need two teams for this game, and four or more kids is optimal. Split the kids into two teams; then have a representative from each team act out the same word. Whichever team guesses the word first scores the point. Whoever has the most points wins the round.
For all of these games, don’t stress about the actual rules or how to play. The main goal is to create memorable learning experiences that will motivate your children and teach them new vocabulary words.
Among the many benefits of homeschooling, flexibility is at the top of the list. Because homeschoolers are not tied to school calendars, we don’t have to wait until school holidays in order to get some rest and relaxation. Homeschoolers are able to take vacations during the school year when rates are less expensive and locations are less crowded.
Because of this freedom, some homeschoolers travel more often than their public school counterparts. They may world school or road school or spend more time visiting family around the country. While many may opt to abandon homeschooling while on vacation, other homeschoolers may prefer to keep a routine in place. Here are some easy ways to homeschool while on vacation and still leave plenty of space for fun!
1. Plan Ahead
Before you leave on your trip, research your destination. Head to the library together and check out books about your destination’s history, famous people, and attractions. Watch videos or movies filmed in the location. Make a list of everything you’d like to do on your vacation.
Reading novels and poetry, watching films and television programs, browsing fashion and design blogs that are either from or about the place you plan to visit encourages you to not only learn about your destination, but to dream, providing some concrete details for your mind to latch on to. (Read more here.)
2. Do What You Love
Does your daughter love a certain homeschool activity? Is your son obsessed with a certain subject? Pack what they love and leave the rest behind. You need not fill your suitcases with workbooks and textbooks for your trip to be educational. Remember to focus on the fun. More learning will happen when you relax!
3. Use Audiobooks
If you plan to travel by car, audiobooks are a perfect opportunity for learning on virtually any topic: classics, poetry, biographies/memoirs, mythology, history, science, and more!
4. Enjoy Fantastic Read Alouds
So much learning can happen through reading aloud. Packing a chapter book and reading it before bedtime during your vacation is educational and you will be making memories in the process. If there is a particular subject that you have been neglecting in your homeschool, make up for it by selecting a fantastic read aloud on that topic!
5. Play Board Games
Board games offer an opportunity for play during down time in hotels or at rest areas on the road. There are a wealth of board games on the market today covering a variety of subjects. By playing a game together, families are able to connect and make memories while working on academic skills in a way that doesn’t feel like school.
6. Explore Nature
Nature provides you with science at your fingertips. Head outside as a family and explore nature together wherever your vacation takes you. Pack your camera and hike together. Take an interest in the local plants that you don’t typically see at home. There’s no need to pack heavy field guides. Search for a few plant identification guides instead.
7. Take Field Trips
A new location means new field trips! Visit a local museum, art gallery, musical performance, or other attraction. Gather brochures, maps, and postcards for scrapbooking when you get home.
8. Journal
An easy way to work in writing and art is to keep a vacation journal. Take some time each day to write about the day’s events. Older children can write about their day while younger children can draw a picture and dictate to parents. By saving these journals, your family will have wonderful keepsakes!
9. Practice Life-skills
Reading maps, planning outings, navigating public transportation, purchasing necessities, trying new cuisine, and even speaking another language are all wonderful learning opportunities when you are in an unknown place!
10. Relax
While on vacation together, take the time to relax and enjoy yourselves. Remember that you don’t need textbooks and worksheets all the time in order for learning to occur. Learning happens all the time when you relax and let it!
The BookShark binder* is huge. It has to be to fit all of the information, lessons, and activity sheets included in the 36-week curriculum. We need the Instructor’s Guide that goes in the binder, but thankfully we don’t need to lug it around.
There are several ways we can keep our BookShark materials organized and accessible without wrangling a 3-inch notebook. If you’re like me and prefer to keep the big binder on the shelf, all you have to do is choose one of these five solutions.
1. Use a Working Binder
A working binder is exactly what its name suggests: a binder that holds the things your homeschoolers are currently working on.
This method works well if you plan units or like to build breaks into your homeschool year every six or eight weeks. Transfer the lessons to a smaller binder and when your child is finished with them, swap them for a new set of materials.
A working binder is also a great tool if you are using several different BookShark programs. Keep your current history, writing, science, and math units together, so you always have on hand exactly what you and your student need.
2. Use a Filing Crate with Hanging Files
Some of us are just not binder people. It’s okay!
A hanging file system is another great way to organize your BookShark curriculum. All you need to do is put each weekly lesson into a separate file folder. If you have multiple homeschoolers, you might put their weekly lessons in the same folder so that you can grab one file at a time. Or you can choose different colored folders for each child.
Once you finish a lesson, move the file to the back of the crate or cabinet. Your homeschooler’s next set of lessons is now right up front, ready for them.
3. Use a Kids Binder and an Adult Binder
My child loves school supplies and would be very upset if I were the only one with a binder. So she gets her own notebook, too. tory. Use reading strategies to craft your questions and discussions:
I always put all of her activity sheets in one binder and my Instructor’s Guide in another. She also likes to organize her supplies by subject, so her BookShark history lessons and writing assignments are in one binder while her BookShark science lessons are in another. These binders don’t have to be very big and give her the autonomy (and school supplies) she craves. They also lighten the load on my binder.
4. Spiral Bind Each Unit
If you love to keep curriculum long-term, spiral binding each unit or several units is a beautiful way to save and showcase the lessons. Spiral-binding might be an easier way to travel with units or for younger children to use the materials.
Systems like the Happy Planner also allow you to punch holes into the materials and use plastic rings to bind the lessons together.
5. Pull Out What You Need Each Week
Perhaps the easiest way to keep yourself from lugging around your big BookShark binder is to pull out what you’ll need each week. Keep the materials in a folder or separate binder—whatever works for you. At the end of the week, put everything back into the big binder and pull out what you’ll need next week.
Practically speaking, the big binder is massive and takes up a good amount of space on the table.
There is another reason you might consider downsizing your binder: Some children get overwhelmed by seeing everything they will need to do in a year. Seeing a manageable amount of activity sheets or reading may dissipate the shock factor. If you feel overwhelmed by the number of lessons, it might help you feel less stressed as well.
*A BookShark binder is included in the Required Resources for All-Subject and Reading with History Packages.
About the Author
Kelly left teaching middle and high school English to homeschool her children and reclaim how she and her family spent their time. Followers of interest-led learning, her family’s days rarely look the same, but they tend to include a lot of books, art supplies, and time outside.
Kelly facilitates local writing circles for women and children and blogs about nurturing the love of learning on her blog, Curiosity Encouraged. She loves to journal, read memoirs, hike, and travel. She seeks quiet mornings and good coffee daily.
Homeschool scheduling is about finding your starting point and matching your family’s own groove. For example, when my boys were preschoolers and toddlers, my goal for the day was to shower and have some meaningful reading activities for my oldest son. Insanity was thinking I had to get my homeschool started at 8:00 a.m. when there was no need to. Fast forward to the middle and high school years. My sons now start their homeschool day closer to 8:30 a.m., independent of me.
The key to breathing sweet homeschool scheduling into your day is to begin with a set of guidelines that you can actually follow—ones that fit your family’s groove. We don’t need one more thing to stress us out if we are already struggling with homeschool scheduling, so look at these easy starting points below.
Analyze Your Family’s Routine and Daily Flow
For example, if you have a younger household, your day will start earlier. When my household was younger, some days I could start school by about 7:00 a.m., stop for nap time, and then pick up again with a few more activities. Other days were helter-skelter.
Setting a dogmatic time to start our homeschool day only added to my aggravation because there was very little I could control when my children were preschoolers. Later, I understood that because my children were so young, I had to have a tentative game plan and find flexibility so that I could accommodate my family’s needs.
However, older children tend to thrive with routine and sameness even though we may not as adults.
Find Balance
If you are not a morning person, then give yourself another half hour or so in the morning before you tackle your assignments in the Instructor’s Guide. However, if your children are morning people and they can start independently of you, then set the schedule to accommodate their desire to start early.
Think About the End of the Day
When does your homeschool day end? Though learning and living naturally flow in our day, and sometimes it’s hard to see the difference between the two, we still want to schedule an ending to our day. Through the years, I have heard of homeschoolers who homeschool for eight hours or more. I am shocked.
Our job as homeschool educators is not really very different from having a full time job. We need to have an ending to our day because homeschool burnout may loom ahead if we don’t.
During the younger years when there is not much difference between playing and learning, having an ending time is not as important. However, as your children approach the middle and high school years and you are teaching them to stick to a schedule and how to balance their time, it becomes critical.
Avoid Hour-by-hour Homeschool Planning
When you are struggling with homeschool scheduling, avoid hour-by-hour planning and instead to plan bigger chunks of time. Getting out your daily planner and setting aside 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. for homeschool is doable, flexible, and gets your feet on the road to homeschool organization.
Next, noting the hours 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. for house chores is pretty flexible too. Instead of chaining you to a homeschool schedule that might not work for you or that may be too specific right now, start with scheduling broad zones of time.
As you fine tune your homeschool schedule to fit your family’s rhythm, then you can fill in with hour by hour chores, academic subjects, and other activities you have planned.
The simple truth is that homeschooling requires time and a schedule that fits your family as your children grow. Fitting your family’s groove at the present moment, having an ending to your homeschool day, and planning in blocks of time are the beginnings of homeschooling scheduling success. w out the topics they are interested in and can relate to, ask questions that spark opinions and more questions, and get excited about what will happen next. Your kids will follow suit and you’ll be digging in and having valuable discussions with them before you know it.
About the Author
Tina Robertson celebrated the graduation of Mr. Senior in 2013 and is getting ready to graduate her next son. Because of her love for new homeschoolers, she mentors moms through her unique program called New Bee Homeschoolers. She loves all homeschoolers, though, as she shares her free 7 Step Curriculum Planner, unit studies, lapbooks and homeschooling how tos. She can’t sing, dance, or craft, but she counts organizing as a hobby. She is still in the homeschool trenches blogging at Tina’s Dynamic Homeschool Plus.
Having a child who lives with anxiety can often be an overwhelming experience. It’s painful for us, as parents, to watch our children struggle with the weight of anxiety disorder. We work tirelessly to help them learn coping mechanisms, develop strategies for managing their anxiety, and help them live their best lives. What if there was one small thing—something many of us might already be doing—that could add another layer of support to their anxiety management?
I am currently parenting and home educating a child who has generalized anxiety disorder. Because I also happen to be an adult who lives with anxiety disorder, I have a deeper understanding of what my child is experiencing. I’ve been there and can truly empathize with my child’s feelings.
After a lifetime of searching out different coping techniques, I still find new things to try or think about. I recently came across an article discussing how reading can help anxiety. It made me think about all the books I crawled into when I was younger, as a way to self-manage my anxious moments. I thought about the times I snuggled up to my kids with a good book when one of them was having their own hard day. It really clicked, and I started to dig a little deeper.
Bibliotherapy Soothes the Anxious Mind
Above the door of the ancient library at Thebes, was inscribed the phrase Healing Place For The Soul. As long as there have been stories to tell and stories to read, humans have used the written word as a way to soothe our hearts and ease our minds.
There is a term for this, bibliotherapy, the act of using books to aid in treating mental health disorders. Particular stories can give our minds a way to see things and find solutions.
Sure, we all love a good book or a good story, but how can we use books intentionally to help our children deal with their anxiety? One of the most effective treatments I’ve tried for anxiety disorder is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). In a nutshell, this is the act of retraining how we think about a situation, so that we can rewire our brain in its reaction to the situation.
Reading a novel can be a powerful way reframe a bad or scary thing. In the book, we watch the character solve that problem and fight that scary thing to victory. The more we read about a character overcoming a struggle, the more our brains start to learn other ways to respond to a threatening trigger.
Reading Lets the Anxious Child Be The Hero
GK Chesterton once said, “Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
Books show us that the things we’re scared of, the situations that trigger our anxiety, can be beaten. Our children read a hero’s tale and see an ordinary everyday character—just like them—go on a journey through dark moments and scary places. They see our hero fight the darkness and emerge victorious.
Reading puts our children in front of these heroes and lets them imagine themselves as the victor, conquering the dragon. It gives them a brief experience of feeling that bravery and beating their foe.
Reading Reminds Us That There is Good in the World
When you live with anxiety, the world can seem overwhelming—full of terrifying events. To our children, these fears can become all-consuming. When we read a book, we are reminded of the good in the world:
that people can be strong and brave
that love can, and does, win
that we can persevere and overcome
Finding books with characters who do the good things and overcome adversity reminds our children that the world is not such a scary place.
Reading Gives the Anxious Mind Something to Do
A child who is feeling anxious will often have a million thoughts going all at once. They may be scatterbrained, or they might become intensely fixated on one problem or thought. When we sit down to read an engaging book, we give our minds something productive and enjoyable to do.
In an anxiety episode, our child’s mind is looking for trouble—in full flight or fight mode. If we give the mind something to focus on, it can’t keep fixating on the anxiety trigger. This kind of mindfulness activity can be an excellent coping mechanism, and books are a great way to do it. You can’t read a book and think of five other things at the same time. A good book will pull you in, and your mind will slowly let all the other worries fall off to the side.
Once your child spends time focusing their mind on one task, their mind can feel less scattered and frantic. Along the way, they’ll hopefully get pulled into a wonderful story or a fantastical world.
As home educating parents, we read all the time. We have family Read-Alouds in our curriculum, and literature for our homeschool lessons. We listen to audiobooks in the car on our way to activities. Reading can be such a large part of our lives already. How wonderful it is that we can also use it to help our children cope with fear and anxiety. with our children. Draw out the topics they are interested in and can relate to, ask questions that spark opinions and more questions, and get excited about what will happen next. Your kids will follow suit and you’ll be digging in and having valuable discussions with them before you know it.
About the Author
Nadine Dyer is a homeschooling parent to two great kids and the lucky wife to one amazing guy. She and her family, which also includes four spoiled guinea pigs, reside in beautiful (and chilly!) northern Ontario, Canada. Nadine is the author of upabovetherowantree.com where she shares her journey, with all its ups and downs, as a secular homeschooling parent. When she isn’t homeschooling or writing, Nadine can usually be found in search of good coffee, good books, and great conversation.
